Paralysis of the Mind

At one point in my life, I used to make New Year's Resolutions. About 1997, though, I looked back and said to myself that I'd only met maybe 2 or 3 of them in my life. And at least one of those involved a girl I used to like, and the other one probably had something to do with a car. Weight? Nah. Personal growth? Hardly. Like most everyone else, I couldn't make a sudden change stick. No big loss, resolutions are easily tossed and forgotten.

After all these years, though, I start to feel like I wish I could impose resolutions on others. No, I'm not going to go around telling people what their shortcomings are (only for someone else to tell me I'm both judgmental and holier-than-thou, which are both true sometimes) but I do have wishes for humanity and my country in general. So here are a few things that I hope will happen next year... or in the future... call it my silly idealistic liberal way of thinking, idealistic being a very VERY bad thing that no one should be. (that'll be on the list)

5. Teach Americans how to conserve energy.

This is an unpopular idea in the halls of power. Big Oil and Gas companies have bought and sold enough politicians to make sure that as a country, we'll always be buying billions in oil from Arabia. The need and greed for oil in this country stain our countries otherwise giving soul. Iraq, Iran, Saudia Arabia... we have dealt with tyrants and murderers, sent our armies into harm's way (I think we can all agree oil had at least something to do with it), and gone into debt for oil. Meanwhile, at home we were never encouraged to save a watt of electricity. Why not? So oil tycoons can make more money? So we could give more money to Iraq? I've never understood. No conservative pundit has ever been able to explain it, other than the stubborn "Americans shouldn't have to conserve..." Bullshit. We already use too many of the world's resources. Only a little saving from every person in the country, and we could save billions of dollars. Lives of our armed forces. The environment from more drilling. It's a win-win, and it wouldn't be that hard. If Bush doesn't win in 2004, this might happen, but we'll see.

4. Legalize pot -- immediately

Okay, I know potheads. They're kinda dumb, they'd rather smoke pot then find a better job which would require a drug test. It's their thing, they say. So all right. Let's legalize it, finally. Put the same restrictions on it that you'd have on alcohol (21 or 18, don't drive high, etc) and let people who smoke pot have rights. We'll save money on prison cells (drug related crimes being most of the prisoners around the country), and pot would be cheaper, and... this is a big one to sell Republicans on... BIG COMPANIES COULD MAKE MONEY ON POTHEADS!! That ought to warm cold right-wing hearts. But it could also mean the difference for lots of people who simply like to relax with pot instead of a beer.

3. Care about the environment

Call me a hippie in unison, but if we fuck up the environment, where exactly are we going to get a new one? And if we run out of resources, where exactly are we going to get more? The moon? Mars? We're at least 200 years away from a human being living somewhere other than Earth, so if we fuck things up here, we're screwed. People who bitch that businesses shouldn't have to worry about environmental restraints ought to be forced to drink two big glasses of East River water without filtration. Simply put, the needs of humanity 2 generations from now is far more important than GE having to spend a few million dollars to clean up their messes. Like I said, once the air and water goes, we're all gone. And that would definitely put a crimp in the economy.

2. Practice what you preach

God is a wonderful concept. Organized religion is a bunch of humans screwing with that concept. Religion is responsible for so much death and intolerance in the past and present, because human beings take their religion and turn it into something ugly and awful. All religions are guilty of terrible crimes. Religion is a wonderful way to teach morals and values, but it is NOT the only way. And using religion as an excuse for violence or bad behavior is simply hypocritical nonsense. The Catholic church first tried to hide its molestation problems. Why? Did they not learn their own codes and values? Islam is a peaceful religion. Jihad hadn't been invoked in nearly 1000 years. Don't terrorists, who cry for Allah in battle, know that? And what keeps Jews and Arabs fighting over the lands of Israel and Palestine? It's hard to imagine an all-loving God to condone any of that behavior, ever. So put it back together. When you say that you're a religious person, mean it. And if someone isn't, don't look down upon them or treat them differently or (worst of all) try to convert them. You don't know that you're so right and everyone else is so wrong, after all.

1. Stop the anger...

As Moe once said on the Simpsons: "Used to be when a boy got old enough, you sent him off to war. After shooting someone, they came home a man."

There's a war now, and people are getting shot, but my generation is mostly untouched. There's no draft, there's no huge rush to join the army, and the war as it drags on becomes more and more unpopular. Yet of people within my age range (say 18-25 or so) there's an incredible reserve of anger that scares the hell out of me. I don't know where the anger comes from. I don't know why its there. But it seems like there's so much rage built up within guys my own age that I marvel there hasn't been a breaking point yet on a bigger scale. I see smaller rages all the time, either through such petty things as fights over nothing, or just odd drunk behavior that turns ugly in a hurry. I'm not gonna be Tipper Gore and blame music or video games, but maybe - just maybe - there's something to that. Perhaps its just adolescent hormones that last a little too long. I don't know. But I fear for the effects when we all get older and that anger just wells up... at some point, it'll come out, and I don't care to know how. But it's something that should be acknowledged as an issue with my generation.

I am part of the most cynical and least idealistic generations of all time. Idealists are looked down upon, because... well, apparently, the world is simply an awful place where nothing good can happen and thinking about the good side of things is wrong somehow. I reckon I don't quite understand the logic. Indeed, striving for something better was the heart of American life for many years. But now it's been replaced by an uncaring, apathetic and cynical air of intransigence... nothing will change, my vote is worthless, why care. It's sad, really. Maybe that's some of the anger, I don't know.

Those are the things I hope for in 2004. Stay safe over New Year's Eve.

Quick, tell me what the difference between Republicans and Democrats are?

If you answered anything about policy, you're probably wrong, other than Democrats are slightly less likely to vote for free-trade and/or tariffs. It ain't the environment, although Bush and Co. are only 4 years away from drilling for oil on the White House lawn. It couldn't possibly be campaign finance reform... excuse me while I wipe away several helpless tears of laughter.

No, the difference is entirely in the scandals.

Democratic scandals have zing. Not just the big ones, but all of them. In the last election, it was reported (falsely, I might add) that Gore took credit for inventing the internet. His actual comment was that he helped created and push a bill through in 1993 that federally funded creation of the infastructure of the Internet as we know it today (which is true). The "liberal" media, shockingly, took the Republicans at their word on it, and promulgated the myth to the point where I knew more than one uneducated voter (read as 18-24 demographic, sadly) who knew that Gore lied about inventing the Internet, and not much else.

I need not go into Clinton-Lewinski (Jones, Flowers, etc etc etc), suffice to say, it captured the nation's "imagination." Or the media's imagination, anyway. I know more about vaginal insertion of cigars, and semen stains and their duration on rayon than I ever needed or wanted to know. The "liberal" media, made Clinton their #1 target for the better part of a year.

I keep noting the media's liberality (is that a word? If not, its mine from here on out) in quotes because I've decided that conservatives have a really good thing going bitching about the media's tilt. The truth is that if you lie to the press convincingly, they will believe you. And the right-wing are incredible at decieving and spinning the media. Not to say Democrats aren't good at it too. But they're years behind the conservatives in making the media print exactly what they want to see. For example, Clinton was dogged by scandal, both for his use of power as governor of Arkansas and then the cigarbanging. So when the Republicans picked up Ken Starr to look for problems in the Whitewater deal (he found none), they decided to spend $40 million to find something ANYTHING they could use on Clinton. They found Lewinski, and they were off. But the media didn't pick up on 40 million from the taxpayers going to nail the President until long after. That seems to be a fair abuse of power in itself.

But abuse of power is exactly what Republican scandals have been, all since Watergate. Nixon abused his authority because he was a paranoid nut (although, to be totally honest with his historical record, a pretty good President), Reagan dealt with Iran before he was even elected! to get our hostages back and then the whole Iran-Contra thing really blew up. Original Bush and his gang didn't get much of a chance to scandalize, what with liberating oil-- erm, I mean, liberating Kuwait and whatnot. And sure, they both funded Saddam and Osama, but that was just bad judgement............... (we'll let that one slide, for the moment)

Bush and Co. now are up to their ears in it. Their policy is simple: reward your friends. And so, the oil tycoon's son helps out other oil tycoons, including his vice-presidents former company (from which he has divested... I mean, you wouldn't want a conflict of interest there or anything). Meanwhile, that company is now up on charges of over-charging the government by millions of dollars! Not only does Hallibutron get a sweetheart deal to rebuild Iraq (which, may I note, they did after Gulf War I) and profit from their work, they're actually overcharging on it! This is costing taxpayers, that means US, millions. Billions, soon enough.

Yet does the media lead with this obvious conflight-of-interest? Does anyone like to talk about it? No, no. It isn't a marital infidelity. It isn't drugs, or racial comments. It's something that actually requires a little thought, and therefore, is about 10 steps over the head of the audience. So no one mentions it. If Bush called Colin Powell a porch monkey or something, sure, that would be front page news. Taking taxpayer money and giving it to an oil company to rebuild after a war which another oil tycoon started for extremely shady reasons... well, I admit racism is bad, but is a racial slur worse than lying to the country and spending our tax dollars so another oil company can do well?

I don't think so. I don't think most people would. Does the media give less coverage to that because they assume people wouldn't care or understand? And would we, the media consumers, care? Or understand? Maybe so, maybe not. But I wish the average Joe got his chance to see what really happens, on both sides, from both sides. I somehow think we'd have a lot more independant voters. Even I'm not going to give an opinion on whether or not that's better than our current system, but it would certainly keep the greedy assholes who run our country (for the rich, by the rich) in check. And that's definitely a good thing, no matter what party you stump for.

Sean Swift totally stole my next topic, I highly suggest you read his latest post. The rat. :)

I'm dying from the flu. Blech. Gotta love the new look, though.

Yes, I made copious changes since I had a few spare hours and I'm trying to learn a little HTML. Meanwhile, I'm getting the flu from my girlfriend. D'oh!

Anyway, thinking about getting sick got me to thinking about something. I don't remember what, unfortunately, because I then took a 2 hour nap. I don't feel totally deathly ill, but I do feel like death warmed over. Luckily, I just remembered what I was thinking about.

It's almost 2004, and of course, that means a Presidental election. I don't really think anyone can beat Gee-Dub, but I guess I'd like to see Howard Dean make a run at it. I have little against the other folks, say John Kerry (although he looks like evil-doer Larry Welch from Days of Our Lives which is pretty funny), or Liebermann or Gephardt or whomever else sticks their head out far enough to get it chopped off. At the same time, Dean is the only person who thinks anywhere near where I do about issues. The other ones are "moderates."

Let me rant about moderates for a moment. Moderate or "centrist" is just a fancy way of saying that a politician wants to please as many of the people as possible. It isn't a belief system, contrary to what most Americans (and pundits) seem to think. It's a cop-out, to believe in nothing but getting re-elected. Politicians rarely stand for something unpopular. Be it right or wrong, beliefs and values don't stand up to popularity contests. You're a democrat seeking the election... well, maybe the war wasn't so bad after all. You make so many compromises to what you want that, hey, you're a moderate, and you believe in nothing. It's a sickness.

I certainly hold distain for George W. Bush, but let me be very clear here: his political operatives have been absolutely brilliant. He was elected on the moderate/centrist platform of "compassionate conservative." He was including everyone in his policies. He wasn't overly-Christian, overly-warmongering, overly-Conservative... he was everything to everyone.

'Course, once he hit office, he went directly to war, God, massive deficits, rampage of the environment, and as many big-business contracts as the office could handle. Screwed were any non-Christians, pacifists, environmentalists, those below the poverty line, and anyone who believes that the US shouldn't be a deficit state. But hey, the man believes in something, and by God, he's gonna get what he wants done when he wants it done. Meanwhile, the democrats are so afraid to criticize Bush on most of his policies, they wander aimlessly behind, bleating like sheep when a "moderate" idea comes down the pipe. Pathetic.

Sigh. I hate living in this backward hick country sometimes. But with all things, Bush is a moron, and at some point, he'll say or do something to piss off enough "moderate" voters (and yes, the same thing applies to voters who vote along a moderate line aka who will lower their taxes more next year) and maybe things will swing. I'd laugh if Dean turned around and cut the military in half to put billions of dollars to foreign aid and the environment. That would cause some heart-attacks in the right wing, wouldn't it? But it would really serve them right for screwing with the country in the first place.

I'm done for the moment. My post tomorrow about why Democrats are dumb.

Which Family Guy Character are you? Take the Quiz!

Can you believe I'm Brian? Yeah, I know, I'm shocked. Beyond all comprehension. Anyway, had a fun X-mas, but my girlfriend has the martian death flu (should that be capitalized?) and is lying dead somewhere in the vicinity of my side of the bed. So I'm playing nursemaid. All fun. Indeed, I hear her calling, so you get the shortest post of all time...

Merpy Hawnakwansmas! :)

Before I kick off the "Best of 2003" List, I made a horrific error in my "Worst of 2003" list... I did not include a single slam, dis, burn, or insult of Avril Lavigne. Let me rectify. Listening to anything that she does a) kills brain cells b) lowers IQ c) causes venerial diseases and d) will shrink your internal organs. She's ugly, utterly talentless, and claims to have written songs that she had absolutely nothing to do with.

I feel better. With that off my chest, here is the BEST of 2003.

The Best Discovery of the Year: 50 Cent

So maybe Eminem has a future behind the scenes. 50 is the perfect mix of thug and poet, sort of a late-model Tupac if I may be so bold. Bullet scars provide enough street cred for an army, his dark voice has texture aplenty, and surrounded by tight beats, he couldn't lose. And he didn't. "In Da Club" got played out, but it was a very good song. In a time where rappers try to portray life on the streets, a little actual thuggin' shows exactly where these middle-class posers can get off.

Best Comeback: Jane's Addiction

Okay, I admit it. I never really liked them that much. Didn't really miss 'em while they were gone. But welcome back kids. Right from the opening of their comeback single "Just Because" they meant business. The CD is tight, and Perry Ferrell (who is freaky and extremely annoying, to be honest with ya) manages not to ruin a good effort from a talented band with a freaky lead singer. All in all, I feel like the new album is a departure from some of their old stuff, but in a lot of ways its better. There's no "Been Caught Stealin'" here, but there's enough rock left over to carry them.

Best Music TV of the Year: The Early Rounds of American Idol

The later rounds suck, full of screaming teens and inconsistent performances of re-treaded material. But the early rounds, where just about anyone is let in the door to sing for Randy, Paula, and Simon, that's where the fun is. Your life isn't so bad or weird when you get to see people who sing as though someone has taken a cheese-grater to their vocal cords singing for Simon, who spares no insult for these time-wasters. Better yet are those poor singers who THINK they're the next big thing, only to get Simon drop the career-ending "dreadful" on them. Absolutely classic. Those poor misguided souls (typically, pardon my stereotype, white girls who firmly believe they aren't white) stand there and try to tell Simon and Randy they don't know what they're talking about. I suppose all those gold records they've produced mean nothing. Meanwhile at home, it isn't that hard to tell.

Best Live Performance of the Year: Coldplay, "Politik"

Okay, I'm an English band mark. But you cross Coldplay live with an orchestra... you try and follow that. It was beautiful and moving and makes me eagerly drool over their next album. By far the best live performance at the Grammys, and ended up being the best one I saw all year.

An actual very close second was Justin Timberlake, of all people. Yeah, really. He rocked out "Cry Me a River" on SNL when he hosted, and it was shockingly really really good. Timberlake admitted one of his favorite bands was Coldplay... I honestly believe he wishes he took guitar lessons when he was a kid instead of dance lessons... and would trade it all for an up and coming garage band. I might be wrong. But he put on a good show, sounding nothing like the polished pop star he is.

Best Trend of the Year: "What is Emo?"

What the hell IS emo? A book came out this year trying to nail it down, and really, only made things worse. The fans don't want a label, the bands won't say, and record executives are fiddling blindly around (not to say that's a change from usual procedure). I hate watered-down punk (Blink-182, Sum 41), but I love Dashboard Confessional, and Jimmy Eat World. But the bigger point is that the music is meant to be rock with feeling, and instead of worrying about the labels on the music, musicians and fans are into the feelings, and that's the point, isn't it?

The Best Band You've Never Heard Of, But Will: Robert Rudolph and the Family Band

I overheard this conversation.

Frat Boy 1: "Dude, how was the Dave Matthews show?"
Frat Boy 2: "Awesome, man."
FB1: "What did they play?"
FB2: "I dunno, Gray Streets, Ants, Trippin' Billies... but you know what ruled?"
FB1: "Who?"
FB2: "Those guys who opened for him. I don't remember the name, but they were great."

Their name was Robert Rudolph and the Family Band, you steroid-crazy freak. But I figure, if a frat boy who loves Dave (and that's sadly his new audience) can be impressed, so should you. They are awesome. And they're worth their own solo tour, and if they're selling stock, I'm buying it right now before they get any bigger. You should do the same.

Best Angry Album of the Year: Radiohead "Hail to the Thief"

Say what? You expected some sort of metal album here? I'm afraid not. Radiohead might not sound like an angry band, they're not punk, they're not metal, but this CD is angry. But the first song berates the listener for not paying attention, accuses Bush of being a thief and liar (I mean, it's in the title), quietly rages against the world around it. No, this isn't RATM screaming for the head of the man, but it IS a concept album and that concept is the injustice of American policy and the theiving behavior of George Bush.

The Top Five Songs of the Year:

5. "Deliverance" - Bubba Sparx

Although I bitched at "Crazy In Love" for hitting its hook wayyy too many times, this is a great song, despite hitting its hook too many times. Oh well. The entire album, in fact, is pretty tight, and there are other good songs on here, but this is a popular song that sounds unlike any other song, something sorely lacking for the entire year. Bubba is developing into something of an unheralded star, and I hope he continues where this CD left off.

4. "21 Questions" - 50 Cent

I love this song like a fat kid love cake. Better than "In Da Club" and a lot less overplayed. 50 Cent is the best new artist of the year... as opposed to Fountains of Wayne. Let's hope he actually lives to see his fame.

3. "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" - Jet

Yep, it's a Rolling Stones rip. Definitely, it seems like it might just be a one-hit wonder. But I'm not inclined to care, and neither should you. A great song, catchy beyond all belief, guitars and throaty vocals, all laid down with rock n' roll style. The Hives, take note, your usurping of the Stones may have just been usurped.

2. "Clocks" - Coldplay

Although this song technically came out in 2002, it did not become popular until this year (as opposed to "Lose Yourself" which would have to be covered in the best of 2002, which makes me question its inclusion this year for a Grammy). It's a beautifully crafted piece of ear candy. I said above that I'm an English band mark, but when something that sounds like "Clocks" does gets popular, there must be something there.

1. "Hey Ya" - Outkast

Uh huh, you wanna vote against this juggernaut? There's nothing to say about this song that hasn't already been said, other than Prince better be looking over his shoulder for Andre 3000. A great catchy song that will go down easily as the most popular song of the year.

Honorable mention:

"There There" - Radiohead
"Way You Move" - Outkast
"Hands Down" - Dashboard Confessional
"Just Because" - Jane's Addiction

I changed the look. More on the way. My best-of list tomorrow. :)

This is just the first review of the music of the year. This is the bad one, of course, the worst of the year... and the next one will be the best of the year. Bear in mind that while I wrote this I used only big name bands who were widely popular through the year. I read too many reviews where someone describes their top-10 albums of the year and the average reader has heard of perhaps 2 or 3. Anyway, the worst in music of 2003. . .

The Worst Commercial Discovery of the Year: Evanescence

Yes kiddies, you take Linkin's Park critically acclaimed mix of teen angst and rap rock and add an okay lookin' gal with an okay soundin' voice. And it's all money in the bank. Although they will more than likely be a simple one-hit wonder, the question is begged: How soon can Sonicflood go godless?

The Most Over-Rated Media Darling of the Year: Beyonce Knowles

Beyonce made the jump this year, at least in the media's eye. She was hailed as a genius... her solo career hitting the heights, and her acting career was taking off as well... so she's the newest big thing, right?

Allow one critic to disagree. She was utterly charmless in "Goldmember." Destiny's Child produced the most turgid "girl-power" music since the Spice Girls were considered an acceptable British export, and her solo efforts are bland at best. The only good part about "Baby Boy" is that it ends. Mercifully. Meanwhile, Jay-Z does his best in "Crazy in Love" but when you have one good hook going into the chorus and you use it 7 or 8 times you're admitting that you have nothing else in the arsenal. Beyonce can sing and dance and look pretty occasionally, but genius status isn't the same as having the talent to win "American Idol."

The Most Over Rated Group of 2003: Linkin Park

Eight years ago, a band released a double CD that absolutely blew up. It fused hard rock with softer harmonics, all pushing the grim angst-ridden lyrics. The CD was Mellon Collie, the band was the Smashing Pumpkins, and the teen angst was delivered from the bowels of the eternally evil-looking Billy Corgan.

Linkin Park fuses the harsher edges of rap-rock into a synth-hybrid sound that lets the angst-ridden lyrics (that very easily could have spewed from Corgan's giant head) explode onto the crowd. Despite all his rage, Corgan was a rat in the cage, but in the end, says Chester, it doesn't really matter. To quote Lisa Simpson, upon hearing the Smashing Pumpkins play at Springfield's Hullapolooza, "Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel."

Chester, cock your gun. Linkin Park seem to have captured the imagination of rock critics and fans everywhere, and really, they're not an awful band by any stretch, but they're not exactly pioneers. The path to commercial success through teen angst has been done, and it's been done by far more interesting bands and frontmen (Corgan, Kurt Cobain, Axel Rose, Ozzy Osbourne, simply to name a few). Linkin Park might corner the market today, but anyone will tell you, someone will come out predicting a bleaker future in a few years. Fish in a barrel.

Worst Rapper of the Year: Chingy

Nelly's commercial success springs from his talent - not his abilities to out-rap anyone (skinny white Jewish boys included), but to throw down a pleasing mix of cheesy hooks and simple lyrics that even top-40 lovers can understand. Unfortunately, he made a lot of money. Which means that someone has to follow him.

Sadly for everyone who likes hip-hop or rap, that's Chingy. Chingy likes to show off his Saint Louis skills, you know, replacing "there" with thurr, and here with hurr, and even at one point in a song referring to a "wheel-churr." Having heard Marshall Faulk (a St. Louis resident as he plays for the Rams) use the correct term "there" in an interview, I was shocked to find out that not everyone who lives in the city replaces -ere with -urr.

But not nearly as shocked to find out how awful Chingy's album is. I actually had to review it, which meant not being able to listen to 10 minutes of it and break it against the nearest wall. Yes, I subjected myself to the whole thing (even some songs more than once) and found... there was not much there. He tries to be Nelly, but without the good hooks. Or good vocabulary. Or good guest spots. Indeed, on his current single "Holidae In" he has Snoop Dogg - normally a guaranteed winner - SINGING, instead of rapping. The horror, oh the horror. For his next album, he'll have the Neptunes rapping.

This Year's Supposed Savior of Rock: (a tie) White Stripes, The Strokes

When you have a two person band, and one of the people in the band can barely play an instrument, I'm afraid you're suffering from a lack of talent. Although Rolling Stone nominated Jack White to be one of the top 20 guitar players of all time (an amazingly shortsighted grab for popularity, even from the attention whores at RS), that doesn't quite cover Meg's... erm... can I say monkey-like drumming? It's my blog, so I guess I can. She can keep a beat. That's about it. A monkey could do it.

Meanwhile, the Strokes were supposed to be the best new band since, uh, the White Stripes. RS hailed them as the new kings of rock. Their first hit from 2002 "Last Night" was contageously catchy and showed promise. Their first single from 2003 "12:51" is repetitive and bland and safe and a step in the wrong direction altogether. They seem like they're a talented bunch, and the rest of the album isn't as bad as the first single, so there's hope... but with the crown on their heads already, what's the point of trying?

Funniest Grammy Nomination: Best New Artist

Hmm, didn't that Fountains of Wayne band write all the songs for the popular 1996 movie "That Thing You Do" - the title song actually becoming a small top-40 hit? And wasn't "Sink to the Bottom" hailed by critics in the mid-90s as a alternative masterpiece? And, uh, they're the best new artist... in 2003? Sounds good to me. Shouldn't other award shows be forced to make ridiculous choices to keep the Grammys from looking retarded? Say, Oscars how about "Elf" for best picture, or Keanu Reeves for an best actor?

Stuck in a Rut Award: (a tie) Staind and every male country artist (especially Toby Keith)

Stain'd sat down after their first hit came through, and after much discussion, decided that "It's Been Awhile" was the best they could possibly do. Smartly, considering their talent-level, they changed the words and re-released it as "So Far Away." Indeed, I was unaware they had a new single, I thought the first single had simply gotten popular again. Color me crazy.

As for the country knockdown, I'm tired of chest-thumping patriotism and bar-loving. There are redneck stories out there, and it seems like only the women are telling the sober non-flag obsessed ones. Toby Keith has his fans, but he mistakes opinion for ignorance, and bravado for shameless bling-blinging. I'm sure and his 28-ton yellow Ford will be happy together.

Worst Decision: (a tie) Michael Jackson and the RIAA

Molesting kids is sick. Taking advantage of those in a powerless situation is simply wrong. Jacko proved that all the money and fame in the world won't outrun the demons inside. In some ways, you have to feel a little sorry for the guy... but in MANY other ways, he's a sick bastard who will deserve the maximum of what the law allows.

Did I mention that taking advantage of those in a powerless situation is wrong? Right, right, so we turn to the RIAA, who didn't physically molest anyone, but certainly stuck it's hot little hands on the bank accounts of music-swappers (notably a 12 year old) by suing a few of them. Although the rise in file-sharing has been a factor in declining sales, perhaps the minor issue of the average price for CD's going up 4 dollars over the last 6 years might have something to do with it as well. But instead, a billion dollar industry decides to sue teenagers for a few thousand dollars. Charming. When MP3's were legalized, the cat was out of the bag, and the music industry has been fairly penalized for not coming to terms with it, simple as that.

And now the big one... The Worst Singles of the Year:

5. "The Voice Within" - Christina Aguilera

Never thought I... or anyone... could say this, but please, Christina, go back to your crappy pop music and stop trying to make ballads. Please. Either be Dirty or Beautiful, but not everything in-between.

4. "Going Under" - Evanescence

After the success of the Girl meets Linkin Park commercial smash "Bring Me Back to Life" the band went for the gusto with "Going Under." Amy Lee sounds good. The band sounds bored. They're there, sort of, but they don't really sound like they're into the song in the slightest. This was just a bad follow-up single in general. There are better songs on the album, but once again, a band made a bad decision when trying to cash in on a lead single.

3. "Holidae In" - Chingy

Nelly didn't need following, really. -Ere is pronounced "ear" not "urr." Oh yeah, and if you get Snoop Dogg to come hang with you, try getting him to rap a few verses instead of just singing the chorus.

2. "Me Against the Music" - Britney Spears/Madonna

In any other year, this could definitely be the worst song. A pathetic excuse to put Britney and Madonna in a video chasing each other like sex-starved lesbians. I'm sure the video is doing well, as like any good gentleman would, guys are asking for it, and then muting it for the free peep show they want. This is also a poor excuse for a cash-in on the 1.5 second half-kiss that was Britney Spears realizing that without a lesbian angle, her career was over. If only she'd said no.

1. "Crazy in Love" - Beyonce/Jay-Z

Yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z might be crazy in love, but if this song is any indication, they spend a LOT of time sitting on the couch. This song is lazy beyond reckoning. How do you explain the eight times the chorus (with those blaring horns) is run through? Eight times! Count 'em! I can see why, though, as the rest of the song has absolutely nothing going for it. Beyonce obviously misses her harmony. And her girl-power. And Jay-Z just lays down a few lines to get back to that damned horn hook, and collects the paychecks, as he's wont to do. May his "retirement" go well... until the next album, anyway.

Honorable mention:
"So Yesterday" - Hillary Duff
"Baby Boy" - Beyonce/Sean Paul
"Senorita" - Justin Timberlake
"Invisible" - Clay Aiken
"Headstrong" - Trapt

And there you have it. Within the next few days I'll post the best of the year.

Death to Hippies!!!

::letting it sink in::

Now I'm all for activism, I'm all for well-considered positions either a) against the established power base of the country b) against something morally wrong or c) for something that will help a lot of people, outside of the people protesting. What I can't take are either ignorant positions, or better yet, a total lack of consideration for personal belief when enacted in a day-to-day life.

Confuzzled? Me explain...

I detest people who hold personal beliefs that they do not put into practice on a day to day basis. Plenty of people live by the code of "I believe what I believe, but don't practice it" (read any of those child-molestation headlines about the Catholic Church). Hippies are the best sect of my generation who live by it. Bear in mind, I'm generalizing when I say "hippies" but you know what I mean. If you watched any of the war protests (when the media deigned to lower themselves enough to cover a major story that clashed with their advertisers monetary interests... another story, another story) you saw a lot of people protesting, but in every crowd was "that" hippie, you know the one I mean, who hadn't met a shower he liked, the dreads, the patchwork pants, etc. Cleaner Phish fans refer to them as wookies, a fairly apt recollection of the persona.

It certainly isn't the lack of personal hygene I find appalling. Hey, if you want to be dirty, feel free. It isn't the clothes, in fact, I like patchwork pants, and nifty hats. What the problem is the total lack of thought into their position of protest.

See, it's a LOT easier to just protest rather than consider what you're protesting for. The war is an easy protest, simple ideas... we don't want people killed, Bush is a moron, onward and so on. It's the slightly more complicated ideals that trip my generation up.

A great example is the WTO protesting. Locally, there was a group of well-meaning hippies (old-school and my age) who took to the streets to protest big business. They had signs protesting big business practices, about how the WTO didn't care about the environment, and so on. There was a cute little picture of it all in the local rag. A good scene, except for one incredibly glaring thing I noticed:

Nearly every single marcher was smoking a cigarette.

Think about that for a second. We're protesting big business? Are there bigger businesses than the tobacco companies? Business practices? Those companies still refuse to admit that nicotine is addictive, nor that they put in dangerous additives. Environment? Not only are those cigs made with paper, cigarette butts can actually poision groundwater when not properly disposed of, and are also a litter nuisance. But OH NO, we're VERY VERY upset about the WTO and big business....

It's ridiculous. If you're that concerned about major corporations, don't support them. But don't protest them if you're a regular customer. That's just hypocritical... and illustrates the point. If you can't practice what you're trying to preach, then give it up. Hey, I am afraid of the largest corporations in America, and I feel like they have too much influence over our lives, but I'm not going to go protest in my Nike sneakers while drinking Pepsi and munching on Chicken Nuggets all the while smoking another Marb...

I appreciate an opinion, and one of the great failings of my generation, at this point of our maturation, is a total lack of considered opinion. An opinion without thought is NOT an opinion, I'm sorry to report. Too many protesters of my generation don't practice what they preach, and don't appreciate the thought that goes into creating an opinion of their own. It takes time! It actually takes effort! And it takes a little humility to say, "By God, what I thought last week just ain't right."

And so, death to hippies. My generation has NO idea what a hippie is. Doing drugs wasn't the main focus of the movement in the 60s, but is today. Following Phish around... hey, it might be fun, but that just makes you a devoted fan, not a hippie. And not showering makes you unclean. And smelly. And unpleasant to be around.

Cut that beard, hippie.

Oh, by the way, #1 song this week was "Hey Ya" and #2 was "Way You Move." Can the swordfight to the death be far off? And who is the bad guy? Can Hollywood get in on this soon?

I had to say it, I did.

Monday night yay's and nay's... call it the regular weekly column that every blog needs...

Hoo-ray to Strom Thurmond for fathering a mixed child. Mr. Thurmond, who started his political career by running on a segregationist platform, apparently had the child in the 40s and has been paying her support (and probably hush money) for many years now. He's been against any sort of social reform since then, and was re-elected for almost 60 years in probably the most backward state in the nation (how else can you explain a senatorial core of Thurmond and Jesse Helms??) It's wonderful to know that not only was he human, his narrow views were trumped long ago by temptation. There's a lesson here, but I doubt backward racist hicks like Mr. Thurmond would have enough intellect to learn it.

A big NAY to the media. Specifically, the reporters covering the Saddam capture announcement. General Bremer said, "Well, we got him" and the reporters covering... sadly and sickly... applauded (most of them, anyway) with some going the extra mile to stand. And journalism types wonder why the media is hated. You see, you can't proclaim to be objective and then do shit like that. Okay, we're all American, and okay, we're all happy to see success for America, but dammit, that does NOT mean you can stand and cheer a government spokesperson under any circumstances. Being unbiased and objective means NOT BEING A CHEST THUMPING PATRIOT!! America-first bias is almost always apparent in world coverage. Yes, Virginia, that's why other countries have distaste for America as well, in case you hadn't put two and two together.

A nay to the 2004 election voters. Whichever democrat wins the nomination had better remember that Saddam Hussein's atrocious reign as dictator was NOT the reason we went to war in the first place. America treated his capture as though it were a national holiday. We did not find, however, any sort of Weapons of Mass Destruction (capitalized for your comfort). The lack of WMD simply speaks to the emptiness of what our government fed to us at the beginning of this whole conflict. The fact that we got Saddam, and it was treated as a huge turning-point only means that Bush is a shoo-in in 2004. If we get Osama, you can forget about 2008. You really have to shit on people in this country to make them aware of the inequalities that they face on a daily basis, and this war coverage is only gonna hide all the backdoor crap that the government does as daily business. Sadly, the Democratic challenger will probably play the same boring game and offer little in the way of reform. But that's to be seen later. Let's hope the voters realize what they're getting themselves into this time around. Especially those who smugly suggested in 2000 that a vote for Bush or Gore was the same... HA HA!

A big-ass YAY to me. I'm getting a new job. More about this personal triumph later.

A turnaround: A big YAY to the soldiers who found Saddam. Our army, overused as it is, is still the best in the world, and our intelligence community needs a little confidence if we're planning on protecting our borders in the next 10 years. I don't agree with the war in Iraq to search for WMD; I do agree with justice for Saddam because he was an awful human being (a baby-Hitler in his own right) and the world is a better place without him in power. At the same time, all our efforts are simply creating more terrorists and. It's a scary future. I plan to be dead. :)

ok, enough ranting tonight... looks like I'm gonna win the football pool again, another 100 bucks into the Christmas fund :)

Ciao!

Posted by: T-Diddy / 12/16/2003 12:20:00 AM

Confessions of a non-wage slave

Recently, an employee who works with me showed up to work sick. He's a fairly recent hire (2 months ago, give or take), and has been lazy and unpleasant to work with from the start. His favorite at-work pastime is to go outside and smoke pot with his friends on the clock. He also has an extraordinary relationship with a... I don't know what to call her, "ex-girlfriend baby-momma" (maybe?) with whom he lives, has a kid with, has another on the way, but isn't actually together with her. I think. Allow my cynical upper-middle class elitism to show through when I say that townie relationships are difficult to follow without a scorecard. You get the picture, though, about where this kid is going with his life... and I say kid, he's 22, 2 full years younger than I am.

On this night, he admitted that he wasn't sick at all, no, he'd dropped acid about 14 hours before his shift started and he was still totally messed up. He sat around for about an hour before I got fed up and sent him home. He begged me and my other co-worker "T" not to "tell" on him, and went. I didn't promise him a damn thing, and I left a happy note to the bosses telling them why he was taken off the schedule for the day. I said nothing about him getting fired, assuming that it would get taken care of by itself.

But ahhh, I did not take into account my co-workers or boss.

You see, a moment about my boss(es). A guy and his wife own the place. He does very little at the store these days, and leaves it to his wife to do most of the day-to-day work. We refer to her as the "hen mother" because she has a young son, and pretty much treats the employees as though we're about the same age and she's OUR mother (it's not bad in small doses, but gets old in a hurry). She's in charge with hiring and firing, although, she's too much of a wimp to actually do the firing herself and leaves it to either us or the night manager. In this case, she shockingly used a democratic formula. We were all allowed to vote on his future, whether we thought he should stay or go.

His co-workers stood tall and proud and said... absolutely nothing. The night manager, who admitted to me he can't stand working with the kid in question, said that he didn't vote. The kid who worked with me the night we had to send the punk home was so afraid of getting in trouble that not only wouldn't he vote, he wouldn't even let me put his name on the note I left for the owners in the first place.

The mind of a wage slave is a terrible thing, and this is the worst instance that I've seen it in my own life. These people, who work for less than 7 bucks an hour, are SO terrified of losing their jobs that they've stowed their own opinions and enjoyment and continue to work with the kid in question, and hate it. "T" told me he actually feels unsafe working with this kid because of his unsavory friends that come in, but he refused to do anything about it. The job they're so afraid of losing isn't that good. It's a convenience store, the pay is crummy, there's no employee discount of any kind, the bosses are assholes (and won't give even the best employees any sort of reference) the only upside is that there's no drug test and the owners don't care what you do so long as the job gets done... so, in laziest pot-head fashion my co-workers cling to this job as though it's the golden tit that's providing their only sustenance. Meanwhile, jobs that would require them to stop smoking pot for less than a month that paid twice as much - or the other option of trying to go back to college to find a better station in life - not only go unchecked, but outright feared. Pot is a reason, but not the only reason. The fear of switching jobs, moving up in life in any way is also feared, because what if you don't get that job right away, and suddenly you're behind, and then... and then...

But my co-workers are already behind. There's no health insurance, no sick days, no vacation time. For them, you either come to work or else you don't buy food. Indeed, they need help from other people - be it mom and dad or girlfriends - just to make ends meet with any comfort. That's the life they're so afraid of leaving... it makes me sad, and mad. Sad because some of these guys are going to be working these retarded jobs for a long time and have so much more to offer... mad, because they can't get it through their thick heads that there are better opportunities out there. I don't hate them for sticking with what they know, but I do detest the meek behavior they show just to keep a crappy financial and working life going.

Meanwhile, according to workers on the day crew, my boss and I talked and I told her that I didn't think the kid should be fired, that he simply needed "more direction." Not only did I never talk to her, I would never feed a line of mother hen bullshit like that to or about anyone. She lied to everyone, and threw my name into the mix just for a better story. I applaud her fiction creating skills, but I note her total lack of integrity and credibility.

I also note her lack of mothering skills. Let me be blunt. If someone is hooked on pot and doing other drugs, has 2 kids with a girl he isn't going out with, can't hold down a job, and has already been in prison once... they don't need "more" direction, they need a bitchslap upside the head and an entirely new direction. Letting him stay in this crummy job isn't going to help him, his girl, his kids (who I feel amazingly sorry for), or anyone else. It's only going to tell him that it's okay, going to tell him his life isn't that bad... in short, it's going to give him absolutely no extra "direction" in any way. If you fire him, maybe you teach him a lesson. Maybe he's too far gone already. But teaching responsibility has to come with costs, or else all you learn is that you don't have to take responsibility for your actions because other people will pick up your pieces. That's a lesson too many people in this hick nation of ours already know.

So, I started looking for a new job. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I'm actually looking for something slightly more professional... if I have to deal with another high co-worker I'll scream... then again, maybe I'll play out the string and see what it takes to get fired. My guess is I have to kill a customer (or two) or perhaps burn the store down... if you hear the fire trucks coming down the street....

The Big First Post

Crack the bubbly, I have a blog. Okay, you can stop cheering now. Everyone has a blog.

Anyway, I'm a born ranter, and it's what I do best, so here will be some rants. Any feedback is nice, and I'm always happy to hear it (really, even mean or obnoxious feedback).

We begin with 5 things that keep me up at night:

5. Two as One or Two or One:

The Grammy nominations were released yesterday, and unsurprisingly, the two-solo-album-as-double-album-by-group mindblower "Speakerboxx/The Love Below" from Outkast is up for best album. Also, "Hey Ya" is up for song of the year. Now, in terms of overall catchiness, "Hey Ya" is possibly the catchiest song of the last few years, and frankly, looking at the competition, I hope it wins. Of course, cooler than being cool would be "cold" but that's just semantics... anyway, the question is what happens if Hey Ya does, in fact, win song of the year? Does Big Boi get to go up there too? His single featuring Chef-- err, Isaac Hayes, is fairly catchy and actually better than most of the schlock on the radio (seriously, has there ever been a song as boring and repetitive as "Crazy In Love" that has been so inexplicably popular?) Does Cold 3000 go up himself, or Big Boi gets to come too... or is there some sort of Highlander-style "there can be only one" sort of battle as to who is the real Outkast?

I typically skip the Grammys, as they stopped rewarding actual talent a few years ago over who could sell the most, but I'd be sort of curious to watch it happen.

4. The Shame of Having Rich Parents:

I'm a senior in college. I should have graduated a few years ago, but that's another story for another time. I'm 24 years old. I have an apartment with my girlfriend, which I pay the rent for. I have bills, groceries, gas (the car was a gift which I now wonder how I lived without), and of course, tuition. I have a student loan, which I'll be paying back for the next 10 years or so. I'm an A student - not in the study all night group, but I make the effort. I also work the traditional shitty job to make ends meet. Sometimes I wish I could just concentrate on school and skip the time-waste of a job (many years spent in shitty jobs will end soon).

Oddly, though, getting a scholarship - even with good grades - is impossible. Why? Because my divorced parents are upper-middle class. And money is there only for the lower-class. I can take out more loans, although my credit is wrecked badly enough because of my current loan. My parents help, but there's only so far they want to help and only so far I really feel like asking for assistance.

Yet, at my crummy convienience store job, people come in with magic cards, full of money for beer, cigarettes, pot, and strippers. It's called a welfare card. Yes, that's right, my tax dollars are going to work - at least, going to the strip club. I have no problem with food stamps. If you work hard and need the help because you can't make ends meet, than by all means get what you need. No one, especially kids, should have to go hungry. But hunger isn't what's being satisified with this money. Foodstamps have to be used for food, but the welfare cards often have cash on them, that can be withdrawn just like money in an ATM. Free cash for nothing. Don't think I haven't seen that cash go to pot deals right outside the store, either.

I know I'm bitching on my own behalf, but the system is broke. I know people who barely make ends meet while coming to college and trying to make something of themselves, while others (especially in my po-dunk poor little college town) slide on the welfare train and never get off. Hardly seems fair, eh?

3. I'm Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

Isn't communism the most scariest darn thing you've ever heard of? Sharing? Everyone gets what they need? People working together instead of against each other? It must be awful, all that togetherness.

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not advocating communism. But isn't it funny the things we learn? We're taught that capitalism, and the idea of the "everyone starts equal" in America, why, isn't that just the American way? The sad truth is that, in fact, people have not been equal for a long time in America. Everyone knows the first amendment promises freedom of the press. Most know it promises freedom of religion. Occasional folks could tell you it promises freedom of assembly. Yet the one right that has always withstood every possible test is the freedom to be in business, either for yourself or as a corporation. The press and religion - lots of people hate the media (See #2 below) and everyone has an opinion on the religious of this country. But business is the engine that runs the economy, and more and more is the engine that runs the country.

Politicians are bought like Christmas presents. But it isn't like you think. Most politicians aren't purchased when they arrive at Congress, no, it starts a lot earlier in their lives. Most of the politicians in the national government come from the richest 5% of our country. They've been given the wealth and privledges of the upper class, and so of course, even when they have zeal to make changes, they don't know what they're trying to change since their lives have been so blessed from the start. Corporations pour money into lobbying campaigns aimed to make the senators and congresspeople think they're making a difference when in reality, the companies benefit. You think anyone in business has a problem with G.W. spending 100 million on his re-election campaign? You think anyone making big money minds his anti-environment policy?

When it comes right down to it, big business is in business for itself first, and the rest of the people a distant second. Communism is in business for the people first. Whether or not such a happy state is possible is for others to debate, but the bottom line is that somewhere, someday you're gonna get screwed because a politician wants to give something to a businessman who did something for him a long time ago, and that's where it stands. Root, hog, or die.

2. Lightning Crashes... Somewhere...

I think one day without any media would make people really happy. There's a lot of bitching about the media. But if you gave it a week, people would come crawling back with hand-written apology letters and flowers. John McCain, a POW for years, said that what he missed the very most was the daily news. He simply wanted to know what was happening beyond what his eyes and ears could tell him.

Fox News, too, isn't changing the media. Yes, they're brash and obnoxious, but when the station gets a .3 for its top rated show, you can't really expect the entire world to be coming down around you because a few thousand people like conservative news.

The problem is the average viewer has NO idea how the news is made. No one reams out scientists for not being able to cure the common cold or cancer. But make a mistake of any kind in the New York Times and people will line up around the globe to smirk atcha.

This is a whole other blog someday, so I'll rest it here. But try it for a day, no news. See how you like it.

1. I Have a BLOG!!!!

Did I cheat you out of a #1? I'm really sorry... sort of. But my crummy job calls. So please, hit me with feedback. USAROVER9@YAHOO.COM.

Off like a prom dress,
T-diddy