Paralysis of the Mind

The highlight of the convention was far and away the speech of Barack Obama, the soon-to-be Senator from Illinois. Obama took the stage and absolutely rocked the mic. His stirring and bombastic speech even titillated blow-dried idiots many TV pundits to suggest that perhaps he could run the next time the Democratic nomination is available (let's hope, for the countries sake, that's either 2012 or 2020). This is not a shocking development. Bill Clinton cut his chops as an orator, looking amazingly young in 1988 giving a speech at that Dem. convention. Afterward, most of the pundits (back then there were less TV types and more print folks) suggested that he was the next rising star.

Suffice to say, a convention IS the place to get yourself noticed, and Obama certainly did that. In one shining moment, though, he made me personally think that maybe, just maybe, the future of African-Americans in America isn't going to be all that bad.

Jesse Jackson has made a few fiery speeches, and did run for President a few times back in the 80s, but he never seemed to quite have the temprement or policy focus that it took to get elected. He's a good speaker (although I'd say a tad over-rated) and he certainly has brought forth a good message, but not President material. Al Sharpton is certainly a good speaker, but despite (can I throw shockingly in here somewhere?) developing from an utter buffoon into a respectable idealist, he will always be seen as said buffoon. And T'wana Brawley hangs like a millstone around his neck. Colin Powell never ran, despite being the odds-on favorite with Mario Cuomo in "People Who Didn't Run But Were Already Tipped to Win." Powell has been a respected figure in the government, indeed, one of the few in the Bush administration that seems to be worthy of any respect at this point in time.

So why is Obama so amazing? Go back to what I said earlier: the pundits started making a case for him. Few in the media have EVER made a case for Al Sharpton, okay? Jesse Jackson used his power more as a wedge to move the Democratic Party toward his and his follower's ideals. Powell got some media support, yes, but he isn't a politician nor has he seemed like he's ever had even a desire for the high office. Smartly, I add. Who wants to get his life taken through the wringer?

But there was Obama, smiling and speaking, and people took notice. My girlfriend said, "That could be our next President right there." My Republican pal at work shook his head in amazement and admitted, "My side doesn't have speakers like that." And the media praise, oh, the praise. I remind you: this man has never held a national office, and STILL the Republicans can't find anyone willing to take the beating he's going to drop on them.

There has never been a black politician who has garnered that sort of command respect so early on. And it means that the media will keep their eye on Mr. Obama, because there's nothing the media loves more than to annoint their own stars. Inherently, since the media WANTS the person to be a star, the person will get more coverage. See? It's easy. :)

But the underlying thought here: The media backed a NON-WHITE individual. Which means that perhaps the time has come where it could happen...

... maybe...

... maybe...

Personally, I'd like to see a half-black half-hispanic jewish lesbian woman to become President, if only to get all of them out of the way once and for all. But realistically, positive coverage for ANY minority (or woman, as they're a minority in the political sense) is a huge step in the right direction. May it continue in that direction for the rest of time. There's enough bigotry and racism in our culture without the media stepping on every non-male non-white candidate.

Yes, Paul Molitor's divorce is QUITE a huge subject. I wrote about how I was getting random hits off divorces of MLB players, but Mr. Molitor's weekend induction into the Hall of Fame has brought my site a ridiculous number of hits over the last few days.

Google, baby, I love ya. Big ups, papi.

Anyway, in case you do wander upon my site looking for details of his first divorce here they are:

I don't know. I don't care. It really isn't my business. Nor is it yours. Go listen to his induction speech to learn all you need to know about it.

(This message has been approved by Paul Molitor's Divorce for President)

... but can't hold back from writing about today's amazing Sawx-Yanks game.

My favorite five things:

5. Terry Francona getting tossed in the 5th - I always applaud managers who are willing to make a fool of themselves for camera attention and team unity (typically in that order)

4. Pitchers frothing at the mouth - props to Tanyon Sturtze (possibly the worst pitcher in the AL) for getting ALL up in the fracas. Extra props to Mr. Schilling for appearing to need about 10 guys to hold him off. He had a look on his face like the Yankees had just raped his wife and killed his dog or something. Damn. I would not want to see him take that sort of look up in the playoffs, were I a Microsof-- er, Yankees fan.

3. Kevin Millar - Okay. He still can't play defense. But two days of putting his spurs to the Yankees, I will no longer refer to him as "the worn husk of Kevin Millar."

2. Nomar - He looked like he cared about this game. I haven't seen that from him since - and I'm being 100% literal here - 1999 or so. As a fan I don't require the players to have the same fervor over a big game that other fans do, but at the very least, don't look like you're sitting in a cubicle from "Office Space" either. Nomar has been a businessman on leave for at least 3-4 years now. I don't entirely blame him. But seeing him riled up was certainly worth the price of admission. Either convince him to sign (not bloody likely) or get something for him, Theo, please, before he walks off (and we get nothing) in free agency for overpaid pastures elsewhere. But that's another entry, I imagine.

1. Your homerun hero - MR. BILL MILLER MILLAR MUESLIX erm... MUELLER. Thanks for making my day, big fella. :)

Down with Microsoft. :)

To: mugglemagician@yahoo.com
From: XXXXXXX@aol.com
RE: Jesus forms own party

Dear sir,
I was very amused at your portrayal of candidate Jesus, however, I feel I must say that in all fairness today's Republican party is the party of values and Christian belief, not any other. You make the party sound bad, and make the Democrats sound better (although, fairly, they also sound like idiots). Bush is not the smartest man on the planet, but he holds values very dear to me and to most of the country. I don't agree with the war, let me admit that, but he's a good strong leader, and his Christian values would be something that I think would impress Jesus and his Father. Furthermore, most liberal Democrats want to turn this country away from God, which is a shame. The Lord's teachings have made our country great. You write very well and seem reasonably intelligent, so I ask if you disagree with my assessment. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours in faith,
XXXXXXX X. XXXXXX


Okay. It was fairly reasonable. I tried to keep it on that level. I'm not entirely sure I succeeded.... :)

To: XXXXXXX@aol.com
From: mugglemagician@yahoo.com
RE: Jesus forms own party

Dear sir,
Pardon my harshness, but religion-run governments don't work. Please look up Taliban, The. As for liberals turning from God, I daresay we don't want to live in a Taliban-run state. No, I don't suspect that most Christians would want such a harsh ruling condition, but under no circumstances am I going to live under a Bible-worshiping ruler.
Speaking of the Bible, President Bush ought to read it. Most notably the ten commandments, and perhaps Acts 20:35: "I have shown you in every way by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Perhaps the President could brush up on "The meek shall inherit the Earth."
I think Jesus is a wonderful prophet and the Bible is a good resource for morals and values and ideas and such, but too often I find myself looking at the state of organized religion and wondering where it went wrong. Beside wars in God's or Jesus' name, how would you explain the Pope ignoring the holocaust? The Inquisition? The Crusades? Heck, would you like to try to explain terrorism? Or how many Americans think we have every right to do whatever we want to ANY Muslim simply because of 9/11? Perhaps God would wonder why Bush invokes his name so much in his warmongering speeches? Or explain to Jesus that stopping gay couples from getting married was somehow done out of love? Perhaps you could explain how Bush, his family, and his closest advisors have made billions out of our wars?
Yes, President Bush holds many values. As you seem like a reasonable and intelligent human being, I surely hope for your sake that his values aren't the ones closest to your heart.

Sincerely...

I await a reply. Any thoughts?

God I hate "new" blogger. What the hell is it with computer dorks who simply can't leave well enough alone for FIVE minutes?

ANYWAY, I have 3 really good entries just sitting around ready to go and I haven't had the time to post them. This will be remedied soon. Like tomorrow soon.

I apologize for the outage. It turns out I have a destructive force working against me (which happens to be one of the posts a'coming) which has pretty much kept me from getting in front of the computer long enough.

I hope this works. Otherwise, I'm going to go on a rampage and destroy blogger within the next five minutes.

In another universe, I picture this New York Times article:

"Jesus Christ to form own party for race"
by Judith Miller, Nedra Pickler, and a whole host of other idiots

    WASHINGTON -- Jesus Christ announced today that he would form his own political party in order to run for the Presidency in November. The move comes after Mr. Christ's attempts to join any of the major American parties were rebuffed.
    According to Mr. Christ's campaign manager, Saint Peter, Mr. Christ was happy to create his own "new flock" but was disappointed by the inability of any other political party to let him join.
    "One would think that a candidate with Christ's personality, experience, and name-recognition would be snapped up immediately," said St. Peter in a terse press conference held late last night. "Once Jesus made his wishes clear, we weren't expecting such a difficult time."
    However, the inside story of Jesus' story has been leaked by various sources to the New York times.
    The first suitor for Jesus was, unsurprisingly, the Republican party. A scant 12 minutes after Jesus made his announcement from the steps of Heaven, a host of Republican operatives phoned and faxed proposals for Mr. Christ to join the party. The next morning, Mr. Christ and Saint Peter met with Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed, talk show host Rush Limbaugh, dark prince Dick Cheney and campaign strategist Karl Rove met in Mr. Cheney's undisclosed bunker location for a courting.
    According to most reports, things seemed quite cordial at first. An unnamed aide in Mr. Christ's campaign team admitted to the Times that he had been asked to write a press release suggesting that Mr. Christ would be running on the Republican ticket. However, very early the next day, apparently Mr. Christ completely changed his mind.
    Two versions of the story begin at this point. Saint Peter released a carefully worded statement saying that "Jesus looked at the conservative movement and has decided that its intolerance toward alternative lifestyles was not something that the Son of God wished to promote. Furthermore, it's economics programs of taking from the poor and funding the rich do not hold with Jesus' values."
    Later that day, though, Mr. Rove released a incendiary statement calling Mr. Christ a "anti-American anti-value anti-Christian" and suggested Mr. Christ "hated freedom, and was probably a communist." President Bush later joked about Mr. Christ in a press conference, suggesting that Jesus wasn't "as cool as he seemed in that Good Book he [Bush] had heard about." Bill O'Reilly hosted a round-table discussion on Fox entitled "Why Is Jesus Wrong?" while Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity boasted moral superority to the "former" savior.
    Last Wednesday, Mr. Christ asked for a meeting with Democratic leaders, thinking that the Democratic platform might be more to his liking. To his surprise, DNC head Terry McAuliffe refused to meet with him, and took the extra step of locking the doors of the main office and changing his cell phone number. Saint Peter made a concerted effort to track down Mr. McAuliffe, but later in the day, the DNC's motives became clear. Mr. McAuliffe released a statement to the press suggesting that while Jesus "may be the Son of God and savior of all mankind" some of Mr. Christ's ideas were "dangerously close to communist" and "unpopularly liberal."
    McAuliffe went on the "Today" show the next moring to explain himself to an attacking Matt Lauer. "Look at what happened to Howard Dean," McAuliffe said, trying to keep an obviously furious Mr. Lauer from attacking him with a whip for being a Democrat. "Dean was a centrist, for God's sake. Jesus Christ was the original liberal. Not only would the Republicans have a field day with him, the media would re-crucify him for sure." Mr. Lauer then bit Mr. McAuliffe on the leg.
    A confused Jesus Christ made a live appeal to Mr. McAuliffe on national television, but other Democratic leaders backed their party's leader.
    "I tried to work on universal healthcare," said former President Bill Clinton, "And the Republicans spent $70 million trying to find dirt on me, and sank most of my policies. Imagine if I tried to raise taxes on the rich more than .03 percent. Jesus's policy of weath distribution might just cause another civil war."
    Mr. Christ found himself no further luck with other parties. The Green Party refused Mr. Christ admission because of his pro-fishing gospels. Ralph Nader threatened to sue Mr. Christ and research on Mr. Christ's "supposed" miracles if Mr. Christ were to register as an Independent. Mr. Christ was hailed by the Libertarian party, but Mr. Christ admitted to the Times: "I can't understand those people. They want to abolish all law and expect society to stand unharmed? Have any of them actually read a history book in their lives?" The Right-to-Life party called Mr. Christ "far too soft" on abortion and reproductive rights. The Reform Party, which nominated Pat Buchanan, considered Mr. Christ "dangerously un-racist" and "full of feelings of equality."
    Mr. Christ then formed his own party, which he called the Respect Mankind Party. Despite the popularity of the church that his teachings founded, the party is already lagging in polls. Mr. Christ only garnered 8 percent in the latest ABC/NY Times poll, and voters had deep concerns.
    "Can he keep the terrorists at bay," asked Lurlene Lumpkin, a farmer from Iowa. "I don't think Jesus could go to war, even if it meant stopping terrorism."
    Nearly 70 percent of respondants thought that Jesus would be soft on terror. Almost 50 percent believed that Mr. Christ's economic plans would cripple the economy, and a strong 45 percent believed Jesus did not have the look of a leader, with his long hair and somewhat unkempt beard.
    Mr. Christ did do well in some areas, though. Forty percent of respondants indicated that Jesus would probably bring more religion into secular institutions.
    "Jesus would have them kids praying every day, every hour even," said retired Air Force private Jack Strake, a Bible Belt native. "He'd tear down those walls of church and state and make sure God ruled America just like he blesses our nation above all others."
    When told of the results, Mr. Christ pleaded, "Don't you understand? I died for your sins! Neither I nor my father bless America any more than any other nation or place! We love all humanity equally."
    Such statements do not win him many friends in this patriotic time. The Times has learned that the Secret Service has actually been following Mr. Christ to make sure he was not a foreign agent. When asked, John Ashcroft was tight-lipped, but did admit that "Jesus has a long way to go to prove he loves this country."
    If the new party will take off, it will have to be soon. Mr. Christ plans to name a running-mate and hold a convention in a field in the near future.

A few quickies before I blog again (for real, I MEAN IT!!) later tonight or tomorrow:

1. Edwards as the VEEP -~- I'm highly in favor. I would have been Crushed (yes, with capital C) if the choice had been Gephardt. Edwards is a few things Kerry isn't, most of them good. I'm not going to get into great detail on the point, suffice to say it'll be quite a fun contrast to see Dick "Charismatic Like Darth Vader" Cheney and the happy-go-lucky seeming Edwards duke it out in a debate. I wonder if Cheney will be able to restrain himself from screaming "GO FUCK YOURSELF" at Edwards. Hey, lefties can dream too. :)

2. Greece WINS Euro2004 -~- Someone, who doesn't care for soccer, asked me if there was a sports parallel between Greece's victory and American sports, and I couldn't come up with it. After a day of thinking, I've got a good non-sports one: Greece's victory is as shocking as if People Magazine named Rush Limbaugh the sexiest man alive. I'm not even understating this. The problem is this, however. Greece played a ridiculously negative defensive style which kept most of their players behind the ball and was fairly boring on attack. Now, I have no problem in theory with this style; If you don't have the attacking talent, it can be effective. My problem will be the 8-10 nations that will copy-cat the nonsense come World Cup 2006. I liken this approach not being unlike when the Devils rose to prominence in the mid-90s in hockey playing their God-awful trap. Yeah, it worked, but damn it was boring to watch and sure enough half of the NHL was playing the same boring style 2 years later. Soccer isn't exactly an explosively offensive sport to begin with, and extra 0-0 or dire 1-0 games aren't going to give the sport a better name in America, or other places. All the same, though, a truly incredible run for the Greeks, and I applaud the great upset.

3. I'm in print -~- My first "real" article was printed yesterday. I'd like to say that it was no big thing and I wasn't amazed or anything, but when I saw my name and article in the paper, I was overcome with Fatherhood style joy. Utterly ridiculous. Ask me nicely, though, and I'll send you the link if you want to find it (I don't really feel like posting it because it has my name on it).

Tomorrow (tonight?) - What Would Jesus Do... if he ran for President?

... on the blogger again. I'm baaack.

Okay, so I moved, which both sucks and rules. Sucks because my arms STILL feel like useless lead weights, but rules because I moved out of the hickest part of the state into Saratoga, which while solidly a red county, is at least red for the right reasons (aka most of the Republicans are rich enough to get the special treatment, yes Mary Lou Whitney I'm looking at you) and not what I'll call "Rush Limbaugh Red" which is a bunch of brainwashed Stockholm Syndrome Conservatives who really think that raising taxes on the poor and lowering them on the rich will... hell, I don't even know.

Anyway, I start on a new career tonight, and I'm back to blogging regularly. So all 2 of my readers are welcome to come back and enjoy all the new spice I'll be dishing!

And to forstall any questions: I had the Sox getting swept by the Yankees down a LONG time ago. It doesn't matter now. The Yankees are going to win at least 105 games; I said they were the best team in the league from the start. However, I'll STILL take Pedro-Schill over Brown-Mussina or Vazquez. Thus spaketh the Hippie. Go forth and spread the message. :)