Paralysis of the Mind

Recently, it came to my attention that Sheryl Crow had a stalker.

Now, Miss Crow is hardly my favorite singer in the world. Nor was her stalker particularly violent or cruel. However, this story really got to me late last night while falling asleep in front of the television. I fell asleep watching the end of Saturday Night Live, and woke up on some horrible thing known as "The Insider". Really, any show that features Pat O'Brien is just guaranteed to be awful, innit?

Anyhow, I woke up just in time to hear how "crazy" the stalker was, because he seemed to think he had a deep spiritual connection to Crow. Here's some of the things he said:

"We are spiritual twins ... My spirit asked to marry her and her spirit accepted."

"I have an unexplained familiarity with her, a closeness."

The stalker, 38-year-old Ambrose Kappos, a former Navy SEAL also approached Crow's sister and father looking for a way to get closer to Crow. He told Crow's father that he'd followed a bird to find him.

It sounds crazy. But I thought about it, and in the light of day, I have to think that not only is he NOT crazy, but that he needs to be lauded for his devotion.

See, to me, this mirrors exactly the same set of circumstances that lie under every major world religion. If Kappos, instead, was obsessed with Jesus, he could be a priest (better yet if he were female, he could be a nun "the bride of Christ"), if he followed a bird to a religious site it would be a heavenly miracle. If he felt an unexplained familiarity or closeness with Jesus, why, he'd just be a devoted member of the flock.

Of course Sheryl Crow doesn't care for this sort of attention and has felt endangered by Kappos (for fairly good reasons) but the only basic difference is that Jesus isn't living to give the thumbs up or down on his own worshipping followers. Compare Kappos to a beginning nice piece about the local SPCA in my hometown paper:

"Last Saturday morning, my wife lost her wallet. She did what she always does when she loses something, she prayed to St. Anthony. And St. Anthony did what he always does when she loses something. He helped her find it.
He had her remember to look behind the croquet set in the downstairs alcove. And there it was. Never mind why.
But here's how it works with St. Anthony. When you want him to find something for you, you have to promise to give something to the poor.
'So how much did you promise St. Anthony?' I asked.
'Twenty dollars,' she said. 'It was my wallet we were talking about.'"

If Kappos is insane because he hears voices telling him to be with Sheryl Crow, why is a Christian praying to Saint Anthony when she has lost something and the good Saint coming through for her in her mind NOT crazy?

To me, there is absolutely no difference. You can't hear a set of voices in your head and then proclaim anyone else in the world insane for hearing their own voices. The only difference is that fewer people think you're crazy if Jesus or a saint is talking, rather than Sheryl Crow.

There's only one good reason for this. Jesus' message of sharing, love, pacificism and human resolve is a lot better than Crow's turgid pop music.

That's neither here nor there though; neither one should be talking to you in your head. But on that same level, nobody should be forced to go to prison simply because one is talking in your head and not the other.

This illustrates, again, the societal concept of normal, which is wildly abnormal in many ways. When people say "normal" what they REALLY mean is common. Normal is a physical concept: the normal human body temperature, for example. But there is no normal in terms of society; things are either common or uncommon. And that's the rub: It's common to be religious, but it's uncommon to think 40-something pop stars are spiritually asking you to marry them.

Religions have been around a long time and have many followers, therefore, it's become common to be taken with Jesus, Allah, Moses, George Steinbrenner... whomever your favorite deity is. And in that vein, religions get away with things that -- if really looked at rationally without societal 'norms' in the way -- are totally ridiculous on their face. Joseph Smith stuck his face in a hat full of magical gold plates while wearing invisible goggles that allowed him to read them and created Mormonism? Jesus was really the Son of God? And truly, the ultimate one: is there really a God in the first place?

I don't write this necessarily as a knock on religion. However, I hear no voices in my head other than my own. I have never been filled with the spirit of God or, for that matter, Sheryl Crow. So I look at my position and I wonder: is the silence of my mind common or uncommon?

Poor Ambrose Kappos, he'll have to learn the hard way that not being "normal" can really get you in trouble. Both Jesus and Joseph Smith -- to name only a few -- died at the hands of angry mobs convinced that the religious prophets and their messages weren't normal and had to be silenced.

And so, Kappos will be condemned as a loon, a nut, just another random crazy. But is it impossible to think he isn't the next great prophet? After all, isn't the mark of a prophet to see what others don't see, to get messages from a higher power that others don't get? Other than a good PR guy, what does he lack for prophet status?

In the end, who is the "normal" one?

... maybe?

Anyway, between the holiday spirit and a new job (I'm glad I have the job, but the hours... not so much) I've been unbelievably lazy about blogging lately.

This is bad, because I've come to rely on blogging as a nice way to relieve stress and vent. I'm not going to get into one of those meta-blogging posts about posting, but having not done it for a while after putting up a good pace over October, I really do miss it.

That's the reason I'll never understand bloggers who write these long painful posts about being burnt-out. If blogging is no longer enjoyable, quit. A blog is a forum where you can express yourself, and I'm ruefully amused (and believe me, sympathetic as well) as the big bloggers suddenly have to struggle with mainstream media pressure and other non-blog pressures that are applied. But once a blogger reaches that point, it seems like the only thing to do is stop blogging. Or as the immortal Chuck Klosterman once said: "Once you can explain why you're necessary, you're irrevelant."

There's no reason for MY blog, and there never will be, so I promise to get back on the horse and start blogging again. Seriously, though, there's no reason for any human being to have to get up at 5:30 in the morning unless it's a matter of national security.

Tomorrow: The World of Advertising.

Powell, out. Rummy, soon. Ashcroft, gone. Ridge, buh-bye.

Seems that the grown-ups are leaving the building. And that should trouble all of us.

In 2000, when Bush was still considering the possibility of not being a rabid arch-conservative with neoconservative influenza, he discussed the Clinton scandals and inter-office warfare of the Clinton years and came up with just the way to phrase how his office would work: the grown-ups were now in charge.

So, one "worst attack on American soil since 1814" and one "fabricated war with over 1200 Americans dead, tens of thousands wounded, and somewhere around 100,000 Iraqis dead" and one "I'm a uniter not a divider but I'm not actually going do any uniting" later, it seems the rats are leaving the ship. Is the ship sinking? Meh, probably not. The Neocon Adventure Coloring Book (now with extra stickers!) tells me that after Iraq is either Iran, Syria, North Korea, or maybe Canada.

But how incredible is this: the incompetent fools who ran our country into the ground over the last four years (and these were the grown-ups, mind) are going to be replaced by... um, the kids? The less-competent kids? Highlights include:

Condoleeza "Bucktooth Buck-a-roo" Rice: "The, uh, title of the briefing on August 6, 2001 was 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike Inside U.S."

But remember kids, that was only BACKGROUND information. So it didn't count.

Also, how about her big role in planning post-war Iraq?

Ha, ha. I was just kidding about that last part. God, to find a job where I didn't have to do what I was supposed to...

Alberto "The Titan of Torture" Gonzalez: Highlights, highlights. Lessee, he wrote a memo to Bush saying that the Geneva Convention didn't apply to ole High and Mighty America, that the Kingdom of God and America didn't actually need to apply its own God's Law to mealy-mouthed terrorist "suspects" who were held at Guantanamo Bay (that not a single person who was held in Gitmo was, in fact, a terrorist doesn't change this action, of course).

Gonzalez has been a Bush crony for years; this is an incredibly dangerous precedent for the highest officer of the law in the Executive branch. After all, does anyone remember the uproar when Janet Reno ONLY gave Ken "I'm an insane right-wing pervert!" Starr unconstitutional powers and 70 million bucks to hang Clinton in the court of public opinion? What are the odds that Gonzalez — a Bush friend and crony for over 20 years not — would do anything that wildly independant?

Oh, the Atlantic Monthly just makes it easy for me. They studied Gonzalez's record in Texas with Bush. As AG of Texas, A-Gon was "supposed" to appraise Governor Bush of possiblity for granting clemency for death row inmates.

So, he must have done that, right? Ah... not so much:

The magazine's investigation found Mr. Gonzales "repeatedly failed to apprise the governor of crucial issues in the cases at hand: ineffective counsel, conflict of interest, mitigating evidence, even actual evidence of innocence". The magazine said Mr. Gonzales appeared to exclude factors such as "mental illness or incompetence, childhood physical or sexual abuse, remorse, rehabilitation or racial discrimination in jury selection".

Mr. Bush allowed the executions to proceed in all but one of the 57 cases, including that of Terry Washington, a 33-year-old mentally retarded man with the communications skills of a seven-year-old.

Kill a 33-year-old man who has the communication skills of a 7-year-old? BOO-YAH! Go America!

Clarence "Short N' Curlies on Your Coke Can" Thomas: Somewhere before slandering poor Anita Hill, but after lying about his love of pornography... actually, I have nowhere else to go with this. Rumors say that Thomas will be pushed for Chief Justice, but I find this hard to believe. Thomas, for all his jurisprudence, tends to simply copy Antonin Scalia's decision down on a piece of paper and put his own name on it instead. Which makes me think that if Bush wanted Justice Scalia to be Chief Justice, he'd nominate Scalia, instead of his pool boy.

Of course, Democrats aren't above stupid promotions either.

Harry "I'm as Liberal as Eisenhower!" Reid: Possibly the most brilliant strategery of all time here. Let's make our minority leader someone from a red state! A moderate! Surely, the Republicans will NEVER see that coming and they'll work with him!

Not to, y'know, complain but didn't that very same strategy just totally backfire with a certain EX-CONGRESSMAN named Tom Daschle? Who lost to a nutbar in... North Dakota? Which -- according to my map -- is right next to Nevada, where Harry Reid is from?

Good ideas. Let's NOT nominate someone from a safe seat (say, a certain Senator who isn't running for Governor in New York who recently won his seat with a cool 71% of the vote?) but instead let our vocal minority be led by someone who can't go too far to the left or else he'll piss off his constituency. So brilliant, I need shades.

That about sums it up on "This Week in Stupidity." Join us next week as Bush tries to say "nuclear" and Evander Holyfield makes his next comeback at age 81.

The Israelis are acting like big jerks again.

Yasser Arafat died only yesterday, but the political maneuvering had begun weeks ago, when Israel admitted that Arafat could never be buried where he wanted.

How charming of them. How truly delightful to deny a dead man his last wish.

What's better is that Ariel Sharon has allied himself tightly with Bush. Great for Sharon, at least in weapons and funding, but possibly the stupidest thing Bush could possibly do. Remember in 2001 when Bush totally snubbed Arafat at a summit meeting? What better way to settle a fight between two bratty children than for a parent to take one kid's side and belittle the other. A sure recipe for household fun!

In the end, that's really what it all comes down to: two squabbling siblings. The Arabs and Israelis have very few differences between them, and it all comes back to one intractable issue. If it were a giant ice cream cone instead of a holy city, the metaphor would be perfect. Priceless Zell Miller moment: "You DO know what uh meta-fur is, dontcha?"

But seriously, it's religion and nothing else. The very best part, of course, is that neither side has stayed true to their religions at all. Both religions have very strict guidelines about sharing (very good) and killing (very bad). I mean *MAJOR SARCASM ALERT* I know it's SO rare to find people who claim to be religious and then don't really follow through with their actions...

Israel doesn't understand a very simple fact: nobody is born wanting to be a terrorist. Nobody lies awake at night pining to strap explosives to themselves or to live in a cave with no toilets and eat dirt for dinner. People get to that point because they see terrorism as the only way to make a point or they've been brainwashed to it. And sadly, the former does lead to the latter, as most Palestinians think of Israelis as the enemy and nothing more.

It only has to start with one side reaching out to the other, and that side should be Israel. The Palestinian government can tell its army to back down, they can tell their children not to hate the Jews, they can try to stop terrorism, but Israel must turn the other cheek. Letting Arafat be buried in peace would be a fine start.

Consider: When Timothy McVeigh destroyed the Murrah Federal Building, nobody suggested that McVeigh was acting under US government control or under Wyoming (where he built the bomb) state government control. Yet every attack on Israel is treated as a legitimate assault by the entire state of Palestine. And Palestinians suffer for this. Their lives are short and merciless. Arafat was an interesting leader in many ways, but he aped George H. Bush by being better at foreign affairs and followed George W. by ignoring his own people's poverty and issues at home. Certainly the Israelis haven't helped that.

Israel can only survive if they broker their own peace or must pray that the United State's superority holds out indefinitely. The European Union is not going to give one whit about Israeli issues should America fall by the wayside; in Europe the Palestinians are considered the oppressed people and the Israelis the cruel overlords. Partly this is due to some anti-semitism. But more importantly: most of Europe thinks Israel is a big fat jerk. China's inscrutable -- it's entirely possible they don't really care much about Israel or Palestine -- but they seem unlikely to fund Israel.

So where does that leave Israel? Exactly the same place they were in 1947: unloved by neighbors, and nearly friendless around the world. Now would be as good as time as any to raise not the gun, but the olive branch. Let the Palestinians bury Arafat where he pleased, and let that be the first marker on a road to peace instead of just one more reason to kill a man who -- if his religion were different -- could well have been your brother.

Just don't be a big fat jerk about it.

It all ended with a little yellow pamphlet.

I saw a bunch of voters walking around with these little yellow pamphlets. It was impossible not to notice that all the voters with the pamphlets were older, white, and generally wore crosses around their necks. Didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on.

Near the end of my workday, I took off my Kerry button and took a walk through the parking lot. I asked a few people who had voted but hadn't seen my shilling for Kerry before if I could see the pamphlet. Nobody said yes; I couldn't figure out if they'd been told not to pass it around or were just feeling churlish. Finally, though, a very sweet old woman gave it to me with a big smile. She told me to think about it and drove off, very slowly.

I read it. And I thought it over. And now, almost a week after the fact, I think I can talk about it without either yelling or crying. Bitterness, though, will be on display.

+ + +

I left graduate school on October 27th. I told my teachers that I was going away for a week and that I'd make everything up when I got back. Some of them knew exactly what I was doing, but others I left it to the imagination. I drove overnight to Ohio, where I met up with my parents (recently moved to Ohio from Michigan) and after sleeping off most of my trip — driving always exhausts me — I was ready to roll out on Friday, the 29th.

The best part of the entire week was that weekend. The campaign workers I was involved with were incredible. We kept pushing each other so much. From that Friday to Election Day, I'd say we put in at least 60 hours, and maybe even more. We'd go door to door until we were exhausted, and then we'd make phone calls until our ears burned. Have you ever gotten a case of phone-ear? It's very painful, just one of the things I missed out on as a teenage girl, I guess.

By Sunday night we felt pretty good. Most people were at least willing to listen, and generally most everyone was friendly. Yes, I got some snide comments, and one guy called me and my friend Evan "fag-lovers." Not that I'm some super elite know-it-all or anything, but very few people know what's really going on in this country, and when we'd talk a good number of people were reacting well to what we were saying.

Of course, we ran into our opposite number a few times. We saw three different GOTV groups for the Republicans, and here's what each of them was: 1 part young preppy who looked like he'd never worked or paid for anything in his life, 1 part old woman with large crucifix, 1 part harried looking business man, and 1 old veteran. I'd like to say I'm stereotyping, but that was it for what we saw. They were never rude to us, but were very cold. They never smiled, either, as far as we could tell. My friend was even nutty enough to say, "If that's all they've got, we're winning!"

We couldn't know that that little yellow pamphlet was floating around, though.

A lot has been made of the Democratic "stormtroopers" that were on the ground across the country. It did not seem like the Republicans had the same ground strategy going on, like I said, we only saw a couple of GOTV efforts, and we were in a county that could go either way (it ended up going to Bush, but barely, as we beat the margin of loss from 2000).

Come Election Day, I was a wreck. I scorn those that I call "Kool-Aid" drinkers on the Right, but I have to admit, I had really come around on John Kerry. Somewhere between seeing "Going Upriver" and the Frontline special comparing his life and Bush's... somewhere between the two times I got to see him speak (and the time I bumped into his wife outside of the bathroom in Ohio) I really really REALLY wanted him to be my next President.

With all that hanging over my head, I don't think I slept more than an hour before going to poll-watch at 6 a.m. At first, it seemed like Kerry was going to walk. Everyone who voted early seemed to be going his way. As the day progressed things evened out, and by maybe 10 or 11 I started to see those pamphlets.

So what did it say? Well... it was libel to the highest degree. "Our Morals Are Under Attack!" shouted the front, and on the inside I was treated to delights about abortion, homosexuals and stem cell research. Not one word was true, and every word was exaggeration or lie. It was absolutely awful, cleverly written, and left no doubt as to who was getting the votes of voters with this lie in their hands...

Disgusted as I was, reading those ridiculous lies kept me going longer than I should. I was going to break at 1 p.m. but ended up staying until 5. By then I was so exhausted I had to leave. One of my GOTV friends took my position, and I went back to where I was staying and passed right out. My mother woke me up a few hours later, just in time to see DC go for Kerry. Hoo-rah! We were on the board!

We all watched together, except my dad. My father -- technophobe that he is -- was slamming the internet for results, rumors, anything. Once he figured out the "Open in New Window" command, he was rolling. He told us the exit polls, but we tried not to be too confident.

When New Jersey fell right into our laps, it was a great moment. My only right-wing friend was crowing for the last month and a half about how NJ was going to be in play. So much for that. Then again, my bloggy pal TK here's favorite conspiracy theory that Old Dominion was gonna go blue got shot down quickly (sorry, buddy).

But it all went down so quickly. And the "moral" voter was breaking for Bush? How could you have morals and vote for Bush? Is it even possible...?

When Florida was called, I felt like it was over. I didn't want to give up on Ohio, but after reading the pamphlet, I couldn't help but think the game was over. I'm not that familiar with the rural parts of Ohio, but I was sure they'd come out heavy for Bush... and they did, I'm sure, clutching pamplets to their breast, hearts beating in fury at gays having the right to exist on their planet.

I went to sleep that night and Ohio was still in play, but none of us thought Kerry still had a chance. All of our optimism, all of our work... it felt wasted. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried myself to sleep. It was the only way.

+ + +

We worked as hard as we could. Everything went right, but we still lost. And it isn't like we lost to someone with a good plan or ideas: we lost to homophobia, Christian fascism, slander and uncritical thinking. Kerry made a lot of good pitches to the country, but words entering the brain never met Bush's words in the gut. That's what it came down to: either vote with your gut or vote with your head. The brains lost.

In the end, though, when I think about it, I'm not the one who has to work two jobs to make ends meet. I'm not the one who's living in a trailer full of Wal-Mart products. I'm not the one who has to think about the Army to pay for college, nor will my kids ever go into war (unless they decide they want to and somehow escape when I lock them in the basement). I'm not the one who devotes my life to hate, nor am I the one who spends hours a week in church singing and talking of love and THEN goes out to hate.

Bush isn't going to go against me personally; I'm not exactly rich or powerful, but economically speaking, I could be his base. I have mutual funds, I have money saved up... my future is pretty secure. I've been to college, and now like I said, going to grad school. My career path won't be outsourced.

Most Bush voters can't say those things. They voted not for the spinach we need, but for the pie in the sky they think they want. It's cruel but when their kids get fed into the military grinder, I'm not going to have a lot of sympathy for the parents. I'm sure that's all just part of God's plan, right?

I want to end up an up note, but it isn't easy. I love those 20 things below, but right now I'm so bitter and burnt-out I can't even think about politics. Fourteen kids died in Fallujah today (Americans, of course, heaven only knows how many Iraqis have been slaughtered) because we couldn't take the city in April. Why? Because it wouldn't look good for Bush's election chances. And now, who pays? The poor kids. The super-patriots. Those real Americans. But not George W. Bush.

Here's to four more years of unreality.

Sorry about the delay. Due to popularity of post below, I've been biding my time. Oh yes, and I'm also lazy, lazy, lazy. Like a cat, but with less licking.

Anyhow, I promise by Monday morning, diary of a poll-worker who was on the ground as everything went down in Ohio. She would have written sooner but, uh, her first draft was just a bunch of swearing at Bush in caps, so we'll let her update.

Hope y'all weekend has been as relaxing as mine.

Today has been brutal, huh?

However, as painful as this loss is, we have to move on. You can be sure Jeb is already starting to work on how he's going to declare for 2008, and we have to be just as forward thinking as the Bush clan on winning the upcoming elections.

I'm not exactly a pundit, but through the day I've had 20 ideas on how to keep our heads up, and where we can go from here. Maybe some of these will make you feel better.

1. Firstly, and most importantly, let's be positive: Okay, we lost and it hurts. Always does. Always will. It doesn't help that we lost to someone who a lot of us feel has no redeeming values whatsoever. It's fair to give ourselves a few days to get over it, but after this, we need to get right back to where we were a few days ago. We need to be vigilant. We need to keep donating whatever we can be it time, money, experience, ideas, a shoulder to cry on. We took a supposed war-time president fighting a supposed popular war after he was the most popular president in history after 9/11 ALL the way to the very end. And despite what the media and Bush will be telling us for the next 4 years, it was close. 51-48 popular is by no means a beating, and in Ohio my guess the final margin will be something like +/- 40,000 votes. Don't forget that, no matter WHAT our screaming heads tell us when they try to rewrite this history in a few months.

2. Let's Give Hillary '08 Up: I like Hillary Clinton plenty. Helped vote her into her Senate seat. Will definitely vote for her again in the future. But if she runs for President, I swear I'll jump ship for a third party. It has nothing to do with her politics or personality, but we would literally be better off running Satan or Osama bin Laden, because thanks to well-informed pundits like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, Hillary is probably less popular than the Prince of Darkness in the South. There would be people showing up at the polls a week in advance to vote against her. Now although this isn't necessarily different from what happened against Bush, Hillary esposes hatred that's just built right into the conservative base. Not good.

3. Don't Quit on the Ideas: Those of us in the "reality-based community" have better ideas than conservatives. I know on a fair playing field the basic democratic ideals (even unpopular ones like gay rights and abortion) stomp republican ideals every time out. Especially when conservatives spend money like Ted Kennedy on a educational mandate bender. Point is, eventually tax cuts go to the bone, and real stuff has to get cut. People get ornery, and if the Republicans leave the budget in such bad shape that Social Security gets wiped out -- believe me, it will be as bad a moment for them as it was when LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964. Except in his case, he was doing the right thing. By no means should we turn around and try to back stupid conservative ideas in an attempt to get swing voters. And I really mean that. The last thing we should do is try to put on a red suit and play "Hey, we're slightly better than they are!"

4. Don't Quit on the Machine: We built a lot of momentum going into this election and ever-so-slowly, there's a left-wing machine that will eventually do battle with the Murdoch-headed conservative hydra. But with the loss, there's too many possibilities that most of the machine we've started to build could fall apart. This cannot happen. We musn't have to rebuild every time we lose. After all, the conservatives have been building for moments like this since 1965. They're reaping what they sow now after laying tons of groundwork. Which leads me to...

5. Improve the Ground Game: Why do people still talk about teaching evolution or creationism in schools? Because the religious right started trying to pick off School Board seats back in the '70s and now have built a massive lower-tier operation dedicated to helping to both control the political system AND help temper local opinions. This is a place where the Democratic party does all right, but most local machines are currently at a peak they won't achieve again unless we keep pushing it. Why not work on getting a full slate of candidates to run in your area who you agree with?

6. Encourage the Growth of Third Parties: Whenever I say this, people give me the suspicious "You're too smart to support Nader, right?" look. But the Democratic party is too big a tent to always please everyone, and there should be other options on the playing field worth looking at. That said, the one thing I despise most about Ralph Nader is that instead of playing the game and working toward making an infrastructure, he just upped and went for the top slot. Nader-lovers always stare at me when I ask them if they've tried to run a local Green candidate, or if they're going to form a local office. They don't get it. But they should: on a local level third party candidates can earn respect and offices. And eventually, if the same parties keep showing up, they won't be such a joke, and in return, the parties will get better candidates to run. Now, I'm not saying all this because I want to fracture the Democratic party. But there's Libertarians and Theocrats out there who could use some encouragement. If the Democrats take the lead to offer more alternatives, it might have a painful beginning, but the greater long-term reward could be a lot sweeter. Remember, the Republicans win on Big Faith and Big Money. Drive a wedge there and suddenly, it's problematic.

7. Decide on The South: This is not unlike #3, but we need to figure out if winning the South is either possible OR necessary. I don't care for writing off a section of the country willy-nilly, but if winning the south means running Red Democrats who are full of fire, brimstone and homophobia... well? Win or lose I hate political expediency, and cutting off the fight for basic rights of fellow Americans as a matter of political course disgusts me. Lots of Southern senators voted (politically wisely, personally vile) against the Civil Rights Act. I doubt all of them were against it on a personal level, but they knew what it meant professionally. We're at the same point. I'm perfectly happy to let them live in their moral squalor, if that's what it takes. We can fight for Florida and Louisana, and maybe Virginia.

8. It's time for State's Rights: The term "state's rights" is the ultimate opposition terminology in American politics. It meant ridiculous state-condoned racism in the '60s, but it can mean whatever the user wants in the '00s. Why is it that the biggest cells of rational/progressive thought (New York, California, Vermont, Mass, Illinois) all pay far more into the government than the state ever sees back, while the hotbeds of red-state thinking pay in much less than they get back? Doesn't sound equitable in the slightest. Certainly, the best example of this is the unbelievable treatment of NYC after 9/11... we STILL haven't gotten all of the money we were promised (which was less, certainly, than we needed or could have used) and those of us living in the state are the ones paying for it. Is not 9/11 a national tragedy? Therefore, I'd advocate working with other richer states to work on a more equitable tax program. Heck, we can call it "tax relief" since that goes over well with the uninformed, it seems. Imagine if suddenly, the money nozzle was turned off in Alabama, while meanwhile, the state of New York had more money to improve its cities and roads (I'd hope my county were first in line, too) and hey, why not repeal some of those SUNY tuition hikes? If we can slam home anti-gay state legislation, why not start pushing tax equality measures? It would certainly make our states more of a national force, especially if we worked together.

9. Play Their Games: After announcing that they were going to play the anti-Kerry documentary "Stolen Honor" just before the election, Sinclair Broadcasting lost an estimated 90 millon bucks when a big ball of liberal disgust rolled over into the practice of "shorting" the stock. Damage done: Sinclair instead showed a documentary about making documentaries that was (from what I've heard and read, I did not see it) at the very worst, pretty fair. And in the other direction: Fox was fined 1.5 million dollars for one of their shows by the FCC, after 159 (!!) people complained. Heck, I could offend 159 people in the bluest of the blue spots in New York City with plenty of Fox's programming. Point is: we need to praise when someone does something good and slap when someone does bad. Praise means purchasing, writing letters, telling friends. Slapping means getting a boycott together if necessary, and in desperate times, trying to work the stock market. The free-market doesn't have to be the enemy. Sinclair learned their lesson, and changed their tune quickly when they saw exactly what was happening. If we have some buying power (and we have more than the red states, like I said before) we should exert it whenever possible. We should encourage American businesses to go Green (good for the environmentalists) and then buy their product (good for the laborers and unions in our party) if that's what we want. Again, we're all in this together and we can really encourage business growth tailored to OUR needs if we get together and use some of our buying power. And don't get me wrong, this is coming from someone who is cold at best to capitalism. But it's high time we started using what we've got.

10. Be Snappy: Tax Relief. Moral Values. War on Terror. This is some of the snappy jazz that the RNC has shoved down our throats for the last few years. It's all totally meaningless, of course. Tax relief is code for "small tax cut for middle class, big tax cut for rich". Moral values means "Pro-life, unless it's for Iraqis, homosexuals, liberals, criminals or Hillary Clinton." War on Terror means... hell, I don't even know. Why we've conferred beligerent status on our shadowy enemies I don't know. It's given Osama a stature he doesn't deserve, and honestly, it makes us seem like we're terrible combatants since we can't win said war (more on this in #11). We can be snappy. We're the party of freedom and rights, and we should be able to have snappy comebacks on complex issues. For example, in regards to gay rights, why not: "Freedom for All." Worked okay for Thomas Jefferson. Or the *horror* of having to pay a certain amount of taxes for the cushy life America grants nearly all of her citizens: "Pay Your Way." Or "Nothing In, Nothing Out." It shouldn't be hard to explain that the easiest way to support the troops is to pay taxes, right?

11. End the War on Terror: Effectively, Bush has left us in a position to fight the evils of terror forever. What we need to do is start asking him when it'll end, and if he'll ever be able to end it. He says we can win, and he says we can fight the terrorists where they are as opposed to America, but does that mean we'll be invading every country in the world? Or, as we should hammer down every conservative's throat, is there no actual plan for winning this war? "When Will We Win?" should be on every progressive's lips. And because -- especially because -- there's no good answer to this question without having to either totally sell out his war-crazy/anti-Muslim base, it's something to haunt Republicans. They've got the reins, and they need to do something about it while we hound them. In my opinion, we need to take a hard look at ourselves and the terrorists if we're ever going to stop the threat, and figure out what it is that WE do to offend them and figure out if either a) we can slow that down or b) actually work with them to see if they're willing to just disagree with us on it instead of wanting to kill us all. That's, of course, wildly idealistic. But also more practical than anyone could possibly say while in power. And it's novel: making it perfect as an opposition idea.

12. Don't GIVE UP ON THE KIDS: Gosh, I hear swaths of youth-hating all over the place right about now. Trust me, as a young voter, this is absolutely the last thing we should think about. 18-25 didn't turn out quite as we hoped, but eventually the kids will grow a little older and wiser and start voting more often. If we stay with them, there's a very good chance that they can blossom into regular progressive voters. Or, at the very least, rational voters. Believe me, following my generation are a group of kids who look at Iraq as their Vietnam. This "War on Terror" will probably still be in full-swing 5-10 years from now... it's a totally different age to grow up in. Let the celebrities court kids, let the issues go for lighter youth-friendly fare... no matter what it takes, we need to keep reaching out to the youth. After all, they eventually grow old and vote, sometimes more than once a year.

13. Give 'Em Whatever They Want: Now also wouldn't be a bad time to start looking into Hispanic issues. Whether it be immigration problems, job losses, racism... anything, we should be responsive. Yes, Mayor Daley was a racist prig, and yes, his Machine grew too large and corrupt, but gosh YES was it ever effective in convincing new Americans to start and finish Democratic in Chicago because the machine helped them integrate into their new society. Since we don't have quite the same issues now, we don't need to build the same machine, but we should encourage hispanic integration into the party by trying to make their issues important to us. Or, as JC Watts' father famously said to the black senator from Oklahoma (I know, it's hard to imagine): "A black man voting Republican is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders." I, of course, mean no offense in ANY way to black voters, I think we should be just as judicious toward all ethnicities since we live in a country that can often be covertly racist. However, Hispanics are gonna be the biggest voting bloc in the country sooner rather than later, and we need to get the jump on that. Also, if this somehow incorporated stopping young Prescott Bush before HIS poltical career begins, that would really ice my cake.

14. Give Up Vietnam: We had the moral high ground then. It proved to be a singularly useless war that never should have happened. It was everyone's fault. The soldiers did things they shouldn't, right along with the government. It's OVER. We should treat it totally as a non-issue, because that's what it is. I can already hear the yelling: "but, but, but it's an issue to them!" Guess what: that shouldn't make it our issue. If people want to believe that John Kerry personally massaged Ho Chi Minh's shoulders while teaching the Viet Cong how to make home-made grenades, fine. If people want to believe that we could have won if we went in all the way and used nukes, tactical laser beams and built our own Death Star... fine! We should politely smile and let them have their distorted memories and history. And... biggest of all... if George W. Bush didn't serve his Guard duty (and everyone who is rational and informed knows full well he didn't) then fine. A lot of people did a lot of things they weren't proud of during the era. And, while I despise him in many ways, he's deserving of the same clean slate that time should grant. I know this is a lot easier said than done, but the only way the nightmares of the time will go away is if one side just lets the fight die, and that should be us. Let the schoolkids and teachers sort it out in 2040.

15. If They Can Have Murdoch and Reed: Then why the hell can't we have Dean and Clinton in the same party? Why not Kuchnich and McAuliffe? Why, after every loss, is there some weird need to cut sections out of our party? Why not, instead, realize that not every faction is going to be 100% thrilled (especially after a loss). Why can't every arm of our beast work toward its own end while still protecting the core? For example, can the gay-rights activist buy American to support his laboring brother? As I said up top: why not build Green here and support both environmentalists and labor? And why can't we make some compromises for issues more important to some and less so to others? There's still a big coalition here. 52 million voters strong, kids, and there's more out there. Not everyone has to be pro-abortion and for gay marriage for this to work, after all, and not everyone has to be rabidly anti-war or anti-death penalty. We have to accept compromises within ourselves sometimes. This doesn't mean we should abandon our party values, but it also doesn't mean the far left needs to get all sniffy when the center-left suggests they're going too far out. After all, we're still united in our hatred of Ralph Nader, right?

16. Voters Rights Across the Country: We need to push for a national system of voting. Whether or not you think some of the Diebold results are fishy (and interestingly enough, they do seem like they need some extra attention) the truth of the matter is even if everything is on the up-and-up there's no reason this country should have a wild hodge-podge of vote machines. Furthermore, let's make a BIG FAT STINK about having to wait hours in line. If the government won't give time off on Election Day (we're the only industrial country not to) why should any of us be expected to take hours out of our day to vote? Firstly, we should push for the same system across the board, and that system MUST have a paper trail. If Microsoft can get hacked, so can voting machines (be it from inside or out). Secondly, why NOT get Election Day off? It should be a national holiday, and we should give all voters an equal chance to make the polls. These are things easy to push for that would be very popular with the middle/lower class, and if Republicans are obstinate, why not ask them what they're hiding. If we're the greatest democracy in the world (as Chris Matthews said approximately 4,658,287,171 times through Election Night) then why not act like it and put a better face on our big day? If business owners claim the extra holiday will destroy them, we should ask if they want to ban fantasy football, which according to many sources, nets a cool 10 billion dollar loss in productivity during the 17 weeks of football season. Heck, we'll even write that bill for them. Kidding aside, we need reliable and easy machines with certifiable paper trails. Otherwise we'll be having this battle every election in states with different systems.

17. Take Back Liberal: Possibly the hardest one yet, but it's there. Every election "liberal" this and "liberal" that. It's time to start asking conservatives: Are you against Social Security? Are you against Civil Rights? Are you against Head Start? Are you against workers comp? Are you against disability insurance? Are you against 40-hour work weeks? All of those things are liberal ideas that have been put into effect. If anything, why not put the ball into the conservatives court? What have they done for our country in the last 100 years? Anything? 'Cause I'm coming up blank. I'm sick and tired of having to explain it. We need to constantly push what liberals have done until it's in the media's bloodstream. Let conservatives talk about what they're "going" to do... we can go in with what we've already done. Speaking of the media:

18. Take Back the Airwaves: Enough about "liberal" bias in the news. All afternoon I see flowery writing about how Bush will now "reach out." I heard on the television that Bush now has a chance to extend the olive branch? Well, excuse-fucking-me for BEING AWAKE THE LAST FOUR YEARS. If Bush said tomorrow that he could cure cancer, would the networks follow? Bush won with Christian fundamentalism -- and the media is very good at discussing the problems with Muslim fundamentalism -- why can't the media ever take a look at OUR country's evangelicals? Is it fear? Somewhat. But it's laziness and ennui: instead of going for 24 hours of coverage we can sneak in 3 hours of coverage with 21 hours of useless crap highlighted by a liberal and conservative shouting at each other with no facts involved. Therefore, we'd never see a report on Jon Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven." We'll never get to hear a buck-toothed Southern evangelical talk about how God speaks through Republicans. We'll never get to hear a pained name-less Arab diplomat stutter as inoffensively as possible, that yes, they're just as damn scared of our fundies as we are of theirs. And we'll never get to see the hundreds of churches that -- against the laws protecting their non-taxed status -- passing out voter guides to vote Republican up and down the line. We don't get to hear why people believe in angels, or hear a lot of reports on why the Church has so easily covered up the pedophilia rampant for the last 50 years in churches. Could you imagine if Bill Clinton was found to be a pedophile in 1998? I assure you, it would still be the biggest headline in 2004. That said: no more defending any media source unless they earn it. This rush to blame both sides and "equal" coverage out has just become ridiculous. Either tell us the truth or shut the hell up. And this comes from a reporter... I know what it's like to hear both sides of a story and try to present them equally. But the facts are out there, and they're just not hard to find. When Bush says something, that doesn't make it either possible or true. It should be reported as speculation just as much as ANY OTHER SOURCE earns. He lied about stem cells. He lied about Iraq. He lied about his past. He lied in the debates. Heck, other than saying he married up with Laura (and it's true despite her killing a boy in her youth and being a drug dealer in college) I'm sure he probably has never said anything of truth or value over the last 4 years. But the media laps it up and spins it around. No mas. If there's no information, tell us. If you're getting spun, media, tell us. If the President isn't answering your questions, tell us. There's a real problem where White House reporters are being threatened. If they won't play ball, why should the media? We need to restore the Fairness Doctrine, and return the networks to their days as public trust. It's gonna take laws to do that... after all, if we're waiting for corporate kindness, we might as well forget it. But the media HAS to be our white knight, and while it can't always win, it should at least fucking try once in a while. We need to keep the knives out, folks.

19. Back to the Start... Don't Tread on Us: What drives most of the fundamentalists to the polls is the fear that somehow, their religious rights are going to be taken away from them. This is because liberals are all Godless, or worse, anti-God. This simply isn't true. Gun lovers think liberals are going to pull guns off the streets. Although this would make America safer, we're not. Now, we can't convince them otherwise. But if they don't feel persecuted, they're far less likely to come to the polls. Which means we have to find the middle ground: let us live our lives and we'll let you live yours. I know it's very social-Libertarian of me, but I have no real problems with great swaths of America being 100% convinced in the Baby Jesus, Angels, and owning 45 guns. I really don't. But if you're going to push on me, I'm going to have LOTS of problems. The Republicans have convinced a lot of these people that we're coming for their rights. We need to explain -- very simply -- that we want to live how we'd like, and we want them to live how they'd like. It's easier than trying to come on strong to gun owners (Kerry went hunting, hoo-rah) or showing white folks how it's REALLY done in a nice black baptist church somewhere. It isn't hard to get people to leave you alone if you really stick to your promise that you'll leave them alone. We don't all have to agree in this country, but once we start stepping on each others toes we're gonna have problems. If they're going to push the 10 Commandments in schools, then you'd damn well better believe the 7 Jews in Alabama are gonna get a billion dollars to fund their lawsuits for menorahs EVERYWHERE. Waste of time and energy? Damn right. But Americans are nothing if not stubborn when it comes to being tread on in any way.

20. Keep Counting and Never Give In: I admit, I don't think there's a giant conspiracy that handed things to Bush today. An absence of evidence, however, has never once meant that a crime was not committed. Not all the votes have been counted yet, and it is a damn shame that people who waited hours or carefully planned their absentee ballots to arrive on-time won't get to have their say. We are FAR from a great Democracy if we can't say, with 100% unerring accuracy, that every... vote... counts. And we can't. I already talked about voting rights, but this goes beyond that... this is to make 2000 right, and to see exactly what happened this year. When the recount went on in 2000, the news agencies all seemed to agree that Gore had "probably" won. It wasn't a big story because of 9/11. But is that not the biggest story in the history of America: the usurpation of Democracy itself? Did Diebold quietly do the same thing in 2004? I'd love to think so, but we need time and a lot of work to get to a point where it could be proven conclusively. And that work must be done now, and forever. We should go back (wherever possible) and figure out how the system has malfunctioned. Did Kennedy stuff in 1960? How close was 1968? Should it throw doubt on past Presidents, all the better: let's make sure our Democracy -- above all -- lets the winners rule and the losers become footnotes. That is, after all, the point.

I write all this tonight because I feel energized, not broken. There are a million things we can do going forward, things we must do to restore the vibrant Democracy that America was founded for. It's nothing less than our duty, as patriotic Americans, to put our country back on the right track, to make things right, to yell for those who can't make enough noise to be heard. I'm only one person with a few ideas, but there's millions of us, and no matter what anyone says over the next few weeks, we'll be there putting Humpty Dumpty together again for one more try at that stone wall...

What a weird and depressingly boring night.

Boring because this election is just 2000 all over again, and weird because although I know how divided the whole "Red v. Blue" is across the country, it's hard to believe that nothing has really changed.

It's worth mentioning that pretty much every possible terrorist target went solidly blue. And, it's worth mentioning that the morality belt of America went solidly red. What a shocker.

And hey, look, there's a state that can't get its act together! Except, no, it isn't Florida. And let me give Ohio some credit: they seem WAY more on the ball and on top of things and far less partisan than Katherine "Stretch" Harris in 2000. Their SoS was on CNN at some indeterminate moment in the past and seemed calm, competent, and vaguely fair-minded. Better than Stretch, anyway.

So, to recap: Morals mean don't kill anyone, unless they're guilty of a crime, or they're Iraqi. Hate the fag, love the fetus. And most of all: don't change horsemen in the middle of the Rapture.

Looks like we're in for 11 more days of rain.

We can't let it happen again.