Paralysis of the Mind

George Will and I have exactly one thing in common: we like baseball. With pitchers and catchers reporting this week, the only real sign of spring that we might ask for is here.

I do wonder if Will will give up his beloved Orioles now that the Nationals are in town? I'll be sure to ask him next time we speak at the "Snotty Opinion Columnist" dinners we often have at his Georgetown home.

That aside, I like to think that baseball expresses America in a way that no other sport can quite match. Football, with its precise yet mindless violence suits part of our country's psyche, and NASCAR — the corporate-dominated mechanized gas-guzzling monster — fulfills another, but baseball to me remains as pure as the old footage of Teddy Ballgame and Joltin' Joe.

Looking at the mess now with steroids, it's hard not to sigh and accept that it's all just part the same culture that Americans love: getting ahead, no matter if it hurts you or anyone else. Did everyone do it? Who cares; they hit a bunch of homers and entertained the crowd and the aftermath be damned. It's exactly the same as Wal-Mart's business practices: sure, they *probably* commit labor violations and use tax loopholes, but the prices are good so who cares?

But baseball is something to do on that warm sticky night when you don't have to go to bed for another hour and the window is open, and yeah, there's probably just enough iced tea in the fridge for another glass if you need one. Those days seem pretty far away at this point, global warming or not, because winter is a beast best seen leaving and not coming...

I don't know why baseball has a hold over me. I do know that because of baseball I learned how to calculate statistics, I learned patience, both for the game and for my team (Red Sox... finally!) and I learned to respect tradition. All good things. Unless of course I'm trying to calculate number of blog posts per day... heh...

Plus, this distracts me from the overwhelming stench of Redstatemadness that reeks from Washington right now. I have a lot to say about Social Security, but that's for another day... next snowstorm, maybe. For now:

Pitchers and catchers.

Turn THAT shit up.

Apologies once more for being absent. I'm in the midst of a job change so my hours are going to improve greatly and be much more conductive to blogging.

Anyhow, everyone has been ringing in with opinions about Howard Dean's appointment to head of the DNC. Republicans are licking their lips because they run the media and know they can replay "the scream" every time Dean says anything in public. Democrats are grinning because Dean makes the right uncomfortable, because he's popular,intelligent, and speaks well in soundbytes -- a glaring weakness of the left. Moderates are, of course, horrified, because Dean isn't from "the center"... that mythical place that no longer exists. (Dean is, in fact, incredibly centrist. But in these neo-fascist neo-conservative times, somehow he's practically Che Guevara with more yelling according to moderates.)

It's less that Dean yelled and DQed himself from being electable than it is to look at the line of what's okay for politicans and what is not. So here's a short list of do's and dont's for those interested in office:

Performing abortions: DO (Tom Coburn, R-OK... also suggests life sentence for people who perform abortions.)
Doublethink: DO (Tom Coburn, R-OK)
Dementia brought on by senility: DO (Strom Thurmond, forever. But Jim Bunning, R-KY for being obviously out of it for 2004 and still managing to win a Senate seat)
Minority or woman: DON'T (Unless your name is Mary and you first child was a happy coincidence)
Finding a Dead Intern in Your Office: DON'T (Joe Scarborough, but he did okay after leaving The Hill)
Starting Wars, Lying About It: DO (LBJ, Bush Jr., Reagan)
Having Affairs and Moralizing Later: DO (Henry Hyde, Newt Gingrich, George Bush)
Having Affairs and Getting Caught: DON'T (Clinton)
Drinking or Drug Problem: DO (Ted Kennedy, Marion Barry)
Selling Out Nation to Corporate Interests: DO (Bush, Cheney, Republicans)
Selling Out Nation to Foreign Interests: DO (So long as it's Saudi Arabia or China, nations we can trust when the chips are down)

But screaming? Was Dean $#%& kidding? What sort of joker does he think he is? If he doesn't perform and abortion and go on television with a straight face saying that Canada actually fired the first shot across the border within a year, he might as well just go home and find a new job. I hear he IS a doctor...

New York Times, 1967: "U.S. Encouraged by Vietnam Vote: Officials Cite 83% Turnout Despite Vietcong Terror"

New York Times, 2004: "Bush Hails Iraq Vote as 'a Resounding Success'"

Years troops in Vietnam for specious reasons after "election": 6 years.

Years troops in Iraq for specious reasons after "election": ?

Years people have been duped into thinking Vietnam was a good idea: 30+

Years people have been duped into thinking Iraq was a good idea: 3+

We truly suffer from a liberal bias in the media, don't we?

"Who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell, 1984